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March into March - without limits I cannot hope to be free

Saturday, March 05, 2011

"The fire inside me is there because I keep giving it oxygen.
Every time the world tries to slap me down I keep fighting.
Yes, it is hard but it is worth it. I am worth it." by ASHLEY1977T

To tell the truth I have been fairly consistent in achieving my Feb goals:
Track every lovin' mouthful that passes my lips - missed 1 day of the month.
Training for 10k race by running x3 per week - missed x2 runs - am on week 6.
Alcohol Free February - drank 7 drinks.
Drinking my water - heaps.
Blogs aiming for 1 a week - 3 out of 4
Getting over my fear of gym culture - (baby steps)-I have joined the YMCA, have a program written for me, have run through it once!

So why do I want to beat myself up?!! Why am I saying mean things to myself late at night? Why do I feel tired, flat, sad?
I am not sleeping in a normal, healthy way. I have been tracking for patterns and the one, huge, overwhelming factor is my discipline with computer time late at night! It sucks. And I have known this since January, when I began the Spark Sleep Challenge. So why am I self sabotaging?
I have taken 3 months to complete this challenge, the solution to getting my 8 hours zzzz is simple: turn off the electronics.
I am currently in another cycle of willful, self-induced insomnia. emoticon
I am doing this instead of feeding my artist soul! I want to organise my studio for some major exhibition production, but I am am not.
So, I need to ramp up my life purpose and take action on my goals to cease this late night, self- sabotage!
NO more computer games. I am an addict.
I do this late night thing when I have not engaged with my passions during the day.
I am wasting my precious life. I am beating myself up instead of loving me.

I declare I am the possibility of self love in action! emoticon

NEW GOALS to track in MARCH:
Computer time and off by 11pm
Studio time EVERY day - 15 min de-clutter, 15 min plan, 15 min do, Repeat.
Continue 10 k training
Gym x3 per week - make dates with myself
What is going in my mouth? calories 1200 -1500

"Measuring, by its nature, requires me to pay attention to every portion. Measuring forms a container for my longings and boundaries for my lust. Without boundaries, I cannot find balance. Without limits, I cannot hope to be free."
- Dayna Macy

My mum & son. My mother has been in hospital for most of Feb, I will travel to her & stay a while when she gets out. I wish she could live with us. She loves her home.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ANDREA409
    Your mama and son are beautiful! I hope your mom is alright.

    As for the rest of the blog, YEEEES! Do it, girl. You know what you gotta do, you've got it written in stone, now DO it. I know you will. You are fierce and strong.

    I used to have a tv in my room and could fall asleep with it on, no problem. After reading "The Hormone Diet" I removed it. It was difficult at first to get used to falling asleep without it, as I'd done for at least a decade. Recently I tried it again and it wound up waking me up in the middle of the night. Electronics really do stimulate our Reticular Activation System (woohoo - I just learned about the brain in my A&P class.), just as daylight does. You are smart in deciding to turn off the electronics a few hours before bed to unwind.

    Bring that fire!!! emoticon
    2599 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/7/2011 6:03:43 PM
    emoticon Some interesting self analysing there! Yes the computer has its good and bad points! emoticon A lovely photo of your mum and grandson, a great memory maker!
    2600 days ago
    I love my spark friends! You are all so thoughtful in your contributions!
    I have set an alarm for 10.45pm, it is a beautiful harp playing to remind me to finish up and get ready for (angelic) sleep...
    I am determined to establish a fabulous sleep routine this month!
    emoticon emoticon
    2601 days ago
    I need to turn off the computer too... for me, I get on here in the mornings instead of exercising, which ruins my mood for the whole day... and then it drifts on and on and on like now - when I am listening to the boys starting to go ballistic in the background because they want my attention :P not modelling good habits, am I? HUGS!!!
    2601 days ago
    The Internet is a hard beast to get away from but you can do it why don't to set a pc alarm for 11 and commit to turn off no matter what
    2601 days ago
    I think you are amazing!
    2601 days ago
    Good for you for recognizing. It is hard to turn off the computer... it is so mindless and numbing, you don't realize how much time it consumes.

    My thoughts go out to your mum and her good health! That is a fantastic picture!
    2601 days ago
    You did great and February, and have no doubt that you will March through March with style & success!

    2601 days ago
    Love that you're so attentive to what you need to do to make change happen! I kicked all the electronics except the alarm clock out of my bedroom 3 years ago and never looked back. I don't allow any talk about work in there either, lol! :)

    Good luck - you'll be feelin ROCKIN in no time!
    2601 days ago
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