15,000-19,999 SparkPoints 16,281

Facing Myself

Friday, March 04, 2011

I have been obese most of my life. I have tried to loose weight several times, but then I would go back to eating what I wanted to and being "comfortable" with my lumpy, frumpy, sedentary self.
All my life I've been told I look just like my father. I have never seen the connection, but then again, I never look at my face in the mirror. Recently, I have reconnected once again with him. Seeing him for the 1st time in 11 years I was shocked into seeing what I could become. Laying flat (no pillow) on a specialized pressure alternating air mattress I came in eyecontact with a 350-400 pound 68 y. o. man. I had to visually divide his massive head into the 3 sections to find "his" face. It was 1:00pm and he had just removed his CPAP mask [He tells me he sleeps around the clock]. His neck is so thick he has trouble breathing and can barely bend it. He is unable to sit up without the hospital bed control. Even then, he can not lie straight in the bed because his massive abdomen prevents any bending. He still has his legs but he is not able to stand on them (His mother had to have her legs amputated three times). Anyways I am sure I do not need to describe his situation any further.
Everyone says my 12 y.o. daughter looks just like me. This scares me. I do not want to look like my father and I do not want her looking like I am now. I can't change the past but I sure can make a difference in what my (and my daughter's) future looks like.
Finally... my SPARK has been Ignited!
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you, my dear Sisters. My Heavenly Father has never let me down and I know I will be able to succeed in being healthier for Him, my family AND myself. Your support will make it all the easier. Yes, Sister Christ we are more than conquerors!
    2640 days ago
    You have a great advantage in your journey that I assume your father and grandmother did not have, Jesus Christ and a church full of sisters who will encourage you and help you to stay on this very important journey to getting yourself healthy. I will be praying for your success.
    2640 days ago
    We all care so much about you. You have to remember this, though you may resemble some of your father's glow. You have the light of salvation in your eyes. Something that makes you more beautiful and healthy than any size or shape can do for you. On your difficult journey to physical health, keep in mind that you have spiritual well-being, much more than your father ever had...AND you promote that spiritual well- being in your daughter. How much sweeter is victory in Jesus over our flesh. He is the champion over the woes of this life and our mortal bodies. You've go the big guy in your corner. Don't forget that. You are going to succeed.
    "Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob as his help, whose HOPE is in the LORD his God." Psalm 146:5
    2640 days ago
    Oh Jodi, I pray with God's help and encouragement from your sisters, that you keep at this and lose the weight you want so badly to lose. You can do this, one step at a can overcome. I am cheering for you. Love in Christ, Karen
    2640 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.