March... Off to a Kinda Rocky Start

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Well, happy March 1st, Spark Friends!

I'm kind of torn on how "successful" I'd call my first day of this new month.

I had an 8:00 am doctor's appointment today... Since doctors are notoriously known for keeping people waiting, I figured I would be there a long time; thus, I planned ahead last night and prepped myself a protein-filled breakfast:

Breakfast Pizza Version #1 (Savory)
1 Trader Joe's Middle Eastern 100% Whole Wheat Flatbread
1/3 cup Egg Beaters, Southwestern Style
1/4 cup Trader Joe's Light Mozzarella shredded cheese
1/8 veggie and mushroom marinara sauce
3 slices Oscar Mayer Deli Fresh brown sugar baked ham
1/2 cup spinach
1 Tbsp. chopped onions

This pizza is super delicious, but I found myself really, really full after eating it. (It comes out to be around 270 calories, which isn't any bigger/smaller than my normal breakfast-- must've been all the protein)

Of course, I sat in the waiting room at the doctor's office for 2 hours; he saw me for exactly twelve minutes. Twelve minutes. Great... All I got was an increased dosage for my acid reflux, and I was late for my 10:30 class.

However, something positive did come out of my doctor's visit. The last several times I've visited him, my doctor has expressed great concern about my low weight. I keep promising him that I'll start seeing a counselor again. Well, today, he finally insisted, and today, I finally made the appointment. Not only did I make the appointment, but to my surprise, they had an opening today, during my break from class (I saw a counselor at Student Health on campus), so I followed through and went to my first counseling session since being discharged from my residential eating disorder treatment facility!

Much to my surprise, the counseling session went great! My counselor actually had a lot of knowledge about eating disorders, and we made a personal plan for me to start following through with. In fact, I have an appointment with an on-campus dietitian tomorrow! I'm scared but ready-- I have promised myself that I will do WHATEVER it takes to gain this weight back.

As you may know, today is also National Pancake Day. I have always LOVED, LOVED, LOVED pancakes, but my disorder has me a little scared of all the carbs, sugar, and calories in them. However, earlier this week I vowed I would go enjoy a free short stack of pancakes at IHOP, so I asked my roommate to go with me, and she said yes. Unfortunately, today she decided she wasn't in the mood for pancakes so we didn't go. Is it bad that I was kind of relieved? I know it is... I wish I could just enjoy food for what it is... fuel for my body... instead of looking at it in such a negative light all the time.

On the other hand...

Yesterday morning I tried to prepare myself for the planned IHOP meal that was supposed to happen today, so I tried to make a calorie-packed breakfast. Hence, breakfast pizza #2.

Breakfast Pizza #2 (Sweet)
Trader Joe's Middle Eastern 100% Whole Wheat Flat Bread
2 Tbsp. Skippy Natural Extra Chunky Peanut Butter
1/2 frozen banana, sliced
1/4 cup sugar free pancake syrup
5 raspberries
LOTS & LOTS of ground cinnamon

This pizza was also delicious, but be warned: SUPER sweet! I'm not used to eating such sweet, sugary things in the morning, so this had me on a bit of a "sugar high" for a few hours. However, the sticky, ooey, gooey pizza was TO DIE FOR! Warm bananas, melted peanut butter, chewy bread, sweet syrup. Hungry yet? Haha :)

Well that's all for now, Spark Friends.
Hope you started your March out on the right foot!

Let's all keep in mind: New month, New Motivation!

PS, wish me luck with the new dietitian tomorrow! I wonder what she'd think of all this breakfast pizza madness?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Looks delicious. Maybe you can have the pancakes at a later date.
    3701 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6716634
    I want to eat your breakfast pizzas. Both of them. Right now. haha Yum yum yum!
    3703 days ago
  • no profile photo IRISH_AGUIRRE
    I am so glad you made those appointments! Wishing you much happiness & success with them.
    3703 days ago
  • KALYN89
    Thank you all so much for your kind words :) Knowing that I have good friends supporting me (and knowing that we all have issues & that I'm not the only one struggling-- not that I want any of you to struggle--) really helps. Thank each and every one of you so much!
    3703 days ago
    I would have gone for pancakes with you!!!! I LOVE pancakes!!!!

    And sweetie, you don't need to worry about the sugar/carbs/calories, you need to EAT THEM!!!!!!!!!!!
    3703 days ago
    Those pizzas look great! And you have many people proud of you for taking steps and seeing a counselor. Hang in there and keep talking about the battles you're facing - you'll find lots of people here to support you! You can do this!!!
    3703 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8268878
    Those pizzas look delicious! I'm going to have to try them !

    Go you for making and keeping your appointment!
    3703 days ago
    Your little pizzas look great! And awesome job for seeking out a counselor - I commend you. Sometimes that's the hardest part. I've been looking to get into a rehab program and my anxiety is crazy high every time I go to call. So good for you and I hope you stick with it :)
    3703 days ago
  • MAK1186
    Wow that's soooo great you went to see a counselor today! I'm sure that wasn't an easy step. You are doing sooo well and I am really proud of you. I look forward to all of your delicious eats everyday and know that you are on your way to become a healthier you!! xoxo
    3703 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7763033
    Good luck w/ the dietician! I'm glad you made the appointment & that PB & banana pizza looks soooooooooo good.

    3703 days ago
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