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Hidden dangers

Monday, February 28, 2011

I have been thinking a lot lately about how often I work out and stuff. And today I felt really really good. I left the gym after doing a fantastic workout, ran an 8 minute mile for 45 minutes and then did 25 minutes of some toning moves from Jillian Michaels dvds. And when I left and then even going to work I felt good. I felt accomplished. Saturday is my day off from working out, and then yesterday I actually felt really really sick at the gym. I pushed through and did 45 minutes on the elliptical but at a slower pace. I had a bad headache and just felt exhausted. So I felt like I hadn’t gotten a great workout so when I was able to get in a top notch workout today I felt fantastic. It shows me that sometimes giving myself days off makes me work out even better the next day. It’s something to think about.

I’m having bad stomach issues. Can’t go. And I feel 8 months pregnant. So I picked up my usual miralax and am having some tea with it. It’s grossing me out. I hate the way it tastes but I need it I am SO uncomfortable. I’m just hoping it works.

So lately I can see a lot of my downfalls and one of them is snacks. And I never keep snacks in my house other than 100 calorie popcorn, skinny cow or weight watchers ice cream bars, and possibly rice cakes. I have to be really careful because I have problems with controlling myself. And it’s frustrated me lately because I feel like I am an adult I need to know control. Last week I had this out of control night where I went WAY overboard. I literally think I ate half a cup of peanut butter (cringe) and like two Arnold sandwich thins DIPPED in peanut butter, and two bags of popcorn. I just went insane on a binge. And I was so ashamed and SICK. The next day I had no appetite, my stomach killing me all day. And to be honest it took me about four days for my stomach to get back to normal and I feel like it still isn’t. My appetite was really suppressed and my stomach felt weird. So since then because my appetite wasn’t insane I was able to take the time to figure out meals and not just eat whatever I wanted because I was famished. One night we had salmon and cod, each cooking a type of fish and splitting each, with spinach salad and broccoli. Tonight we had grilled chicken breasts with butternut squash soup and spinach salad. I am trying to incorporate a salad into every meal. And I’m really happy with how my meals are coming out and knowing I am getting plenty of fruits of vegetables makes me more confident and kind of helps to control my cravings. How? Because I am stuffing myself with veggies and spinach, filling myself with these great greens and such so I am less hungry after dinner. Another secret I have been using in the past few days is water. The day after my insane binge I wanted to drink as much water as I could to flush myself out and over the next few days I purposely drank more water and it helped a lot with cravings. A lot of times I’d drink tons and tons of water at work all morning and afternoon and in the evening I stopped drinking water and would snack. So I have been trying to drink a bottle of water on my drive home and it helps.

And I was talking to my girlfriend tonight and we were saying how it will never end. Tweaking our eating habits, drinking more water, working out more, changing how we eat, eating MORE, eating less, all of these things we have to think about every day and things we worry and concern about will never change. We are women, we care about our bodies and our health and in a world where the threat of obesity, heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure are around every corner, hiding under bright colors of fast food, cheap prices of salt-infused meals, easy to make dinners loaded with fat and calories. It’s a scary scary world to navigate that a lot of people grow up in not knowing the dangers and only discovering them after they have taken a toll on their bodies. I let myself be ravaged by the poor choices of myself and the rest of America, and had to battle for an entire year to get my body to a place where it was no longer at risk. Some people will never be lucky enough to realize that they need to change their path and actually take the steps to better their life. We are the lucky ones who had the insight to have something spark us, something light the fire under our asses to get us changing and moving and saying NO to every commercial that pressures us to put something unhealthy into our body. It’s our job to educate others and every time someone says “you make me want to eat better” I smile because I wish everyone would see that this lifestyle is the best way to live because it means you’ll live longer.

I hope everyone on this website knows how lucky they are to have seen the spark and feel proud to still be coming on this website, to be trying and wanting something better for themselves. I certainly am!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SILLYHP1953
    You are getting much more in touch with your body...dare I say even accepting it and forgiving yourself when you overeat.

    2951 days ago
  • VIXEN2188
    Things can get crazy sometimes but then I look at how I used to be growing up and what my parentals thought I should eat and how disgusted I am over it. I feel towards my sister the most and try to tell her not to eat garbage and crap all the time but it's hard for her to follow when my dad gets home and honk's his horn out in the drive way till she comes out regardless if she wants to and they go eat at Mcdonald's. It's just disgusting. I make mistakes too though and binge occasionally. I may not eat a huge amount but going over 400 to 500 calories in junk food is sickening to think about. After wards I think wow, where was the nutrition? Where was the protein? Anyways thanks for the blog!
    2971 days ago
  • ERIKO1908
    Great much insight!! It will never end & we will be the better fo it! I thank God every day that I've got Spark in my life...I don!t think I'd be on this journey successfully without it...
    2971 days ago
    Sounds like you turned that binge around though and put yourself back on the path you want to be on. Your blog was/is timely for me - I was sitting here debating with myself about just grabbing the peanut butter jar (one of my weaknesses) and have a few spoonfuls. Made me think twice, thanks.

    You are right though, it won't end. My husband and I were talking about this very thing the other day. It's not a "diet" that you reach the end week of and it's over. It's a life change and its for the rest of our lives. Being mindful of how much and what we eat, exercising, all of it. BUT, it's also life and sometimes we have to give ourselves the things we want -- just as long as we keep it in moderation. I guess for me that is the harder part - making sure I keep it in moderation. Not sure I'm really there yet...

    Thanks for the spark tonight! Hope you have a great week and that... um... our stomach issues work themselves out.

    2972 days ago
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