40PLUSANDFIT

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Small Nervous Breakdown

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

This is a long blog, mostly venting, so if you are looking for positive, yeah, it's not me.

Let me give you a little history. My husband's daughter moved in with us several years ago, right after my layoff, which put is EXTREMELY behind on bills. She has entitlement syndrome and is lazy. Anyway, we are already behind, she gets busted shop lifting and gets pregnant and miscarries. Long story short, this child tried to break up our marriage. She moved out, we finally hashed it out and have for the past two years been doing terrific. She has gotten pregnant again, had the baby, gotten married to an illegal. He has been deported and she's been working. She lived at home with her mother, her mother kicked her out, put her in an apartment, she wasn't driving, so I guess couldn't support the apartment and this leads to my story.


So we've had a little drama this week. Hubby's daughter and her baby (1 year and 7 months old) have been coming over rather regularly. At first I thought it was to keep hubby company while I was gone (was in NYC last week), but I keep getting more and more pieces of the story and am starting to piece that she is pretty much using us as a hotel. She was living on her own, but without a car, couldn't make it. So she moved in with her mother in law (the illegal who didn't get deported, can't figure that one out, oh if I didn't tell you, they deported the "husband" and baby daddy), who I am assuming lives in a trailer from the tid bits I'm getting. Anyway, I guess the MIL's sister and her husband moved into the trailer and from what I understand it's a one bedroom or two bedroom. So I hear that people are sharing beds, etc. So the daughter has been at our house where she and the baby get a whole bedroom, free cable, free water, free electricity. but yeah they are just coming to visit. (daughter is driving and does have a car now). Anyway, the baby likes to hug the animals. Our oldest dog's (11 years)arthritis has been really bad because of the weather (so he's in a little pain) and he would growl at her and let her know, back off. Well on Sunday, the daughter and her friend are in the back room, hubby's other daughter (10 years old) is in the front room with the baby and the animals.. and our dog finally had enough. He bit the baby. On the face. Hubby and I had had gone to church and are now at Costco and he gets a hysterical call that Buddy had bit the baby, etc. We go to the emergency room and of course that's what was told. So Buddy has to go to ten days quarantine because his rabies shot is over a year old. The baby gets stitches. She's fine. If her scars show, it'll be a fluke. The cuts were VERY very straight, not jagged.

Then, as we are waiting for the stitches to go, the youngest daughter proceeds to tell us, like it's a big joke. The baby can open doors. She opened the front door and walked across the street. The lady across the street brought her home. WTF??? Where's her mother? Why is no one watching her? Our house is NOT baby proofed, she has to be watched all the time.

So we go home. The front door is wide open, the screen is shut, but not locked. The youngest dog (the lab) is GONE. So now I have a dog I have to quarantine and NO dog at home. The screen door doesn't latch all the way, so he probably lied down in front of it and it popped open and off he went on a great adventure. I'm assuming he was running around for about three hours, so I had no idea where to look. I call our neighbor/friend. She made some calls, and it seems he went directly to the park (where we walk him) and some people had actually found him, leashed him and were walking him around trying to find us. We went to the street that we last heard they were on, started knocking doors and the first house that hubby went to, they knew exactly where these people lived. So we went over. They didn't answer the door, but the dogs next door were making a ruckus, so we went in the alley and they were in the backyard with him. So we got the dog back.

Yesterday I stay home because I'm trying to find out if the vet will take Buddy for quarantine (and I've got allergy issues, seems to happen every trip) and my upper back was out. So anyway, the point of that was I could have cleaned my house, but I didn't. Then I find out at BEDTIME that CPS is coming over because of the dog bite. At 5 on Tuesday. So my whole schedule is screwed up. I have a somewhat messy house (not my Mom messy, but still messy to me the obsessive compulsive who right now doesn't give a sh**).

"Blog update": Hubby just called and said that they called her and said they were coming at noon instead of 5:00. Must be nice to just rearrange a person's schedule at a whim.

So add that to the daughter borrowed the washer and dryer, okay no big deal. The same rules apply to you as to my daughter, if there is something in the dryer, you don't have to hang it up, just lie it out flat, so I don't have to rewash it or redry it to get the wrinkles out. Oh hell no, they are all wadded up on the loveseat.

So today (Tuesday) I asked hubby if his daughter was going to work today. (She's sleeping in our beds because of course she doesn't want to go back to the trailer with the baby having stitches in, so she goes to work, goes to her friends and then shows up at bedtime). He said he told her maybe since CPS was coming and she had so much stress, that she should call in. I said that cleaning the kitchen while she was home would be nice (dishwasher needs to be unloaded and reloaded, no big deal, right?). He gets all pissy and says, well you were home yesterday. Me: Well yeah, but I'm under a little stress too. Him: The kitchen was clean when you got home from New York. Me: Yes, dear it was, but we've had kids running in and out since I've been home. Him: Well that happens when your daughter is home. me: Yes and my daughter cleans around the house too. him: She lives here. (FYI: My daughter is away at college right now, so this is a non-issue).

GEEEZUS christ.... I gave up at that point. So I guess I'm supposed to treat his daughter as a hotel guest instead of a free loader. I did finally tell him that I would have cleaned if someone had told me CPS was coming yesterday during the day, not at bedtime.
So needless to say... his daughter in my house is not a good mix for my marriage.

SUPPOSEDLY, he talked to her about the whole baby leaving the house and she needed to be more careful, etc, etc. But he's not a disciplinarian with the girls. He coddles them, makes me CRAZY.

oh yeah and the youngest daughter has been lying out her a&& lately. But unfortunately her mother is the same exact way, narcissistic, victim personality.. and she's cloned her daughter into her. It's ALWAYS someone else's fault.

So I'm tense. I have a free loader in my house who brings in people constantly. She has the code to my garage and I'm afraid that she'll tell the wrong person. The last time she was with us, things just magically got damaged. I've made comments asking if she was moving in. Oh, no, she's just visiting. Just visiting is over the weekend. She's in my house now all the time. In my daughter's room which I'm sure, she'll NOT clean up and now I'll have to go clean all the stuff that I normally get to leave alone because it's unused. I'm depressed enough and having to clean on a regular basis for the two of us is bad enough, but to have to clean up after a lazy child and a baby.. is a little too much for my weary brain to handle. And I'm getting more and more work at work, with more stress.. trying to get a promotion and if I can't handle my personal life, that will go down the tubes. Stress overload is not helping my weight and I haven't worked out in a week because I've been sick again (actually had fever this time) and these schedule changes. ARGH.

But I'll end this positively.... hubby got offered a permanent position at the place he has been working as a seasonal. There is a raise involved and opportunity for three more during the year. This company is NOT known for their layoffs, so we don't have to worry about that, just the trying to get caught up.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PAIGESMAMA
    Sorry for all of the stress in your life. Your hubby needs to be a man and talk to his daughter and tell her the way it is.
    2824 days ago
  • SKINNYPANDA2015
    My goodness!! You do have a lot going on right now! I think it is completely unfair for you to have to put up with this from the older daughter...especially now that CJS is involved. Hopefully your husband will see what's going on and back you up on getting her out of the house. Or, at the very least, maybe you can come together to lay down some ground rules.

    Good luck! This is a very tough situation, I hope your husband stands up with you as a true partner.
    2824 days ago
  • TRAVELISMYGAME
    Wow, you definitely have a lot going on right now. Sounds like some major ground rules need to be set up for your stepdaughter. She sounds downright disrespectful.

    I hope things get better for you soon!

    emoticon
    2824 days ago
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