Stupid Mirrors! GAH!!
Monday, February 21, 2011
I wish that what I saw in the mirror was the same as what everyone else saw in the mirror ... people tell me how beautiful I am and how I don't need to loose weight ... well, I think they are just lieing to be to be nice ... of course my husband is going to love the way that I look, I am his wife that he is deeply inlove with ... he is not going to tell me where I need to improve on myself cause he knows that it will make me an emotional wreck ...
Thing is, I carry weight different than other people ... yes it is evenly distributed so it is harder to tell that I put on 5 or 10 lbs to the naked eye ... but I can surely tell ... when I was 140lbs. I was only one size smaller than what I am now, which is 20 lbs. heavier than that ... that is a good thing some people say ... well I say nay. That just means I can over eat and do bad things without seeing the effects until it gets out of hand ... not that I ever will let myself get into that spiral because of my obsession with my body (totally not a good thing)
All this progress I have made in the last month and when I took the "month" picture of myself, it was like torture but I should be proud ... I got on the scale, but I didn't put it in my measurements yet till tomorrow and I LOST another 3 lbs. Why am I beating myself up?!?! I am doing great!!!! I am actually eating and loosing weight ... this is like paradise ... I wish that my logical mind would take over for a spell and my irrational mind would freakin go on vacation ... cause between the two of them, I am going crazy!