What I did and why I did it: the mini-lift

Saturday, February 19, 2011

The first three are "before"; the last three are "after"

Most women don't talk about their decision to have plastic surgery. They take some time off to have a 'dental procedure', or go away for a long vacation and come back 'rested'.

That makes total sense—we feel vain, foolish, and we really don't want to be judged. And we probably hope you'll just think we're naturally young and beautiful, instead of needing help!

However…I am talking about it. I'm a psychologist, so I tend to talk about things most people have sense to avoid. But I want to understand. I need to understand.

(I do want to avoid boring you with self-absorption, which is the danger of introspection. Perfect example of total self-absorption—Julia Robert's character in the movie version of Eat, Love Pray. Good grief. Quit reading this if it reminds you of that in any way!!)

So…What did I do, and why did I do it?

The "What" is a "mini-lift". That's just the bottom of your face; nothing with the eyes, forehead, eyebrows or neck. Basically, they pull the skin along the bottom of your face back a bit, and hook it over your ears.

Why'd I do it?

Vanity? That's part of it, I'm sure. Not all of it, though—I'm actually ok with myself! If I didn't want to continue to work, I really don't think it would have come up. Not to please my dear husband, who thinks I'm lovely the way I am (I do love that man!) And not to avoid dealing with age. I believe it's a blessing that God teaches us "to number our days". Life is short. That's real, and we need to deal with it.

Yet age and time is part of the issue. But with a little more complexity.

Reason #1: I want to work 10 or 15 more years.

There are things to be done, and I want to do them. There are ideas I've just begun to develop, new research I haven't even read yet. And I'm healthy, and energetic enough to annoy some people, and I have no problem doing the things I want to do.

However--for men and for women, ageism exists. As we age, we are perceived differently, judged differently—not for the good, unfortunately. I work independently, but not in a vacuum. I hope this mini-lift will level the playing field just a bit, allowing me a few more years to 'play' in my field.

Reason #2: I'm "off"—always have been, always will be.

I know--that's no surprise to those of you who know me well! ;) But you might be surprised at how really "off" my bone structure is, especially in my face. If you've checked out the pictures, then you saw it, but in daily life, it doesn't really show too much. I move my face a lot—all that talking! But the asymmetry caused one side of my face to age quite differently from the other—and it bugged me.

Reason #3: It bugged me.

That's probably the bottom line. I know about the research, I know about the asymmetry and the impact on me, and I just didn't like it! My dear husband made some extra money and was willing to let me…so I did. (Yes, I should give money to the poor and needy—and I do, actually—and I can keep doing it longer if I keep working…loop back to Reason #1!)

So. Was it worth it?

Not sure yet. For the first 3 or 4 days, while I was throwing up, I thought definitely NOT!

Today, as I feel lots better, and see the difference in the place that bugged me constantly…I think probably yes.

We'll see!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    i wanted to do that also. I actually met with a plastic surgeon and scheduled some hard to get time off work. Then the surgeon said I really should do the forhead to help the eye brows, a peal and then it turned out to be over $25,000 and looking like 5 or more hours under anesthesia. I scared me and I backed out. Was yours just the mid face? I too understand the benefit of not looking old or tired as a professional working woman.
    Any comments for me?
    2884 days ago
    You look fantastic! I too have been thinking about having a mini-lift. I don't mind getting older or even looking older, but the sagging and lines around my mouth and jaw just make me look so tired! And I'm not! Anyway, thanks for sharing...and enjoy the way you feel!
    3475 days ago

    Thanks for sharing! It looks great! I applaud your decision - good for you!
    3488 days ago
    Looks GREAT and I hope you're recovering well now! emoticon
    3492 days ago
    Hi Deb. Stop feeling guilty my dear. You look great and we all want to keep ourselves looking good because it makes us feel good...who's the psychologist here?? Anyway, that was nice of you to share your pictures and you look great. Sounds like it wasn't fun for you though! emoticon
    3497 days ago
    Deb, I really appreciate hearing about your process. I hear you about "gaming" the system. I have a 26 year old, but I also have a 3 year old. So when I meet people, they assume my middle kids and the little one are the only ones I have. I also will be working a number of years, and DH and I talk about the ageism that does exist and how will I be able to move my income up in order to replace his as he is "aged" out of the regular workforce?

    You look super and I think that this tiny procedure (I also hear you about the barfing for four days...didn't feel tiny I'm sure) will make you less self-conscious and enable you to move forward to do wonderful things!
    3499 days ago
    I can see the difference! I didn't really expect to, but I do. I think you look great, but the important question is how do you feel? I completely understand why you did it, and I say, "Good for you!"

    Thanks for posting the before and after pictures, and sharing it all.

    3499 days ago
    Deb that was brave to share the pictures. I can tell the difference. I think we do need to feel good about ourselves because it makes one a happier person. I wish there was something that could make me taller! Enjoy your new look!
    3499 days ago
    Thankyou for sharing this ....

    And you do look great
    3500 days ago
    Good for you! You look great!
    3500 days ago
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