My Relationship with Food
Friday, February 18, 2011
Sometimes it seems like food and I are in a fully committed relationship. The catch is, this relationship is not egalitarian. Food for me is like a controlling significant other. I feel like it doe not let me make my own decisions, and when I try to, I get guilted into spending more time with food. In other words, we need to break up!!!!
Even from readign the blurb above, it is obvious that I am an emotional eater. However, I am also and on-the-go eater too. I work 50+ hours a week. I am always in my car going from client to client (I'm an academic tutor and sometimes you have to go to the client). And at the office I work at, the clientelle is not always steay, so I'm always looking for other ways to make money. I never know how much I'm going to make a week or how much I'm really going to be working. Put these two together, an I am a semi-stressed, quick munching person. This is not a good combo for trying to lose weight and is part of why I have struggled for so long.
My work situation is not going to change. Actually, its probably only going to get more complicated. I am a work-a-holic, but honestly, I don't plan on doing anything about that. I need to make a decent income right now, and working for myself means that I wear a lot of hats. I enjoy what I do (most of the time...there are definitely days), but I'm always looking for more. I'm trying to save as much money as I can right now, and that goal is super important to me. I will work as much as I can to achieve this goal. So are my goals conflicting??? Is there a way I can balance them???
I used to put working out last in my schedule, but now I have worked it into my schedule, settign aside specific time each week that is just for working out. That's a start, right? I am establishing a good relationship with working out, but food is just getting more jealous and controlling, especially when I come home at night to it. I have been working very har to make meals and prep all of my food ahead of time. That is working, but I still find myself in the kitchen, late at night spending time with food. This is a bad habit I developed in college and have not broke yet. So what do I do??? Do I tie myself to the couch, bed, or chair at night to keep myself from going to the kitchen??? Do I make someone make me accountable for my actions??? What do I do??? I feel like until I break off my unhealthy relationship with food, my progress is going to be limited, and I'm not sure how to do it.