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You can't make someone want you

Friday, February 11, 2011

I've been dealing with some boy problems lately. It's been distracting me from my normal happy life. I'm trying to put these guys behind me but it's hard. One of them (nickname: Dick Move) was a friend w/ benefits for almost a year. We were more than just FWB though. We were like a real couple except that he never wanted that with me. In fact, we ended things completely right after Thanksgiving 2010 when he met a girl that he DID want as a girlfriend. He has since become single again and tried to reconnect with me. I was so hurt by the whole "relationship" that I have been trying to push him away. The thing is, I don't really want him to go away. I want him to want me but I know he never will. And I'm not sure why I want that anyway because he is lacking some very important qualities (he is extremely shy in social settings aka wallflower and he lives about 2 1/2 hours away from me). Anyway, this is a rambling non-sensical blog. I was just listening to a song and the lyric (which is my title) really hit home with me. I've gone through my whole life trying to get guys to want me and they never do. For once, I need to just be happy with ME and realize that a guy would have to be an idiot to not want that. And I don't want to be with an idiot anyway, right? Right.
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  • TREP13
    Thanks to everyone for your helpful (and much needed) comments.
    2988 days ago
    Ahhhhhhhh .... the classic struggle between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now ... I remember so clearly several years ago (ok, more years ago than I want to admit) when a guy I worked with took me out 4 wheeling so he could get the opportunity to ask if we could be "friends with benefits". I'd just gotten out of a horrible marriage and was trying to figure out who I was ... again. Somehow, something in my brain spoke up for me and said the words that changed my life --- "I am done trading my body, hoping that someone will love me". I don't know where those words came from but they stuck ... and my life changed. I stopped looking for someone to "attract" with the hope that their physical needs would overcome their heart and we'd live happily ever after. Long story short --- Loving yourself is so much more satisfying than longing for someone to love you. You are definately headed in the right direction ... Don't allow someone to treat you as less than what you are ... A wonderful person who deserves to be loved and RESPECTED!
    2989 days ago
    Once, when I was going thru a heartbreak, someone said this to me, and I've never forgotten it: "Nothing is more appealing that a woman with a mission."
    Find yourself a MISSION. Throw yourself entirely into something you are passionate about, and your passion will light you up and THAT kind of light will attract to it the kinds of people who are worthy of your time.
    And in the meantime, you're having such a grand time on your mission that you really don't notice that Mr. Right isn't on the scene yet.

    2990 days ago
    Take time to do what is right for you in your life. Learn to love yourself more than anything and treat yourself like the princess that you are! You will reach a point where you are just happy. Without anyone or are happy...with yourself. Then other things can come and enhance your world, but not define it! I know it is hard when you want someone who does not want you...I have been there a couple times. I think you decision to push him away is a GOOD decision though. He dropped you the first chance he got to be with someone else and then now wants to get back in your good graces because he is single....ummm...jerk!!! You are SO much better than that and you deserve a MILLION times better! But i know letting go is easier said than done!
    2990 days ago
    Living well is the best revenge!

    Take care of yourself and the boys, the RIGHT boys, will come!

    2990 days ago
    Never settle, love yourself the most and everything else will fall into place :D
    2991 days ago
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