Yellow polka dot bikini
Thursday, February 10, 2011
I had written a blog yesterday and had lost it because my computer randomly shut off to do an update. I was SO frustrated and didn’t bother coming back to write again.
Anyway what my blog yesterday was about was that I had fallen on the treadmill at the gym. The fall didn’t hurt my knee, my knee hurting is what caused me to fall. I’m okay and rested my knee the rest of the day and today when I ran it was fine. And it got me thinking a lot because almost everyone I told said it was because I am “doing too much”. And it kind of annoys me when people say that. I know they say it because they care but I feel like unless you’re in my body, unless you’ve learned what I know about my body, you don’t know what too much is. To me, too much would be working out and not eating so much that I hurt myself. Too much would be me being in pain but pushing through it or lightheaded because I don’t eat. What people don’t realize is, I am still on this journey but my eating is no longer in “weight loss” territory. I still watch what I eat and measure and mentally calculate calories but I also don’t fret over eating out more than once a week. I simply make wise choices at restaurants, even if it means being the annoying customer who needs everything made differently than advertised. So I think when people say “Oh six days is a lot” they don’t realize I’m not eating enough to gain, but I’m eating enough that working out as much as I do is the perfect balance for me. I am losing still, slowly. I see the ounces go down every week and that’s fine for me. The fact that I can eat out as much as I do and still lose a few ounces is fantastic. But I guess I just want to ask people what their idea of enough is. People who don’t work out AT ALL tell me I do too much. But unless you know how hard it is to get yourself moving 6 days out of 7, you don’t know what too much is. Is that wrong? I sometimes ask for advice on here about what would be too much. But almost everyone tells me to listen to my body, and I do. When I feel like my stamina is down, I try to do less work that day and the next day maybe do the bike instead of running and not work out so intensely. If my knee is bothering me I won’t weight train my legs that day. I listen intently and my mom actually asked my sister if she thought I was losing too much weight. And to me, I’m healthy. I have muscle. If I was someone who had wittled down 70 pounds and had no muscle, I’d be worried because yeah then I’d be malnourished. But I’m not. And I guess I want people to stop being negative about how much I work out. I work it into MY schedule, and still am able to have a life. So when people say I’m going to burn out I want to say, I’ll believe it when I see it.
Anyway. Positive thought for today. My sister and I decided to wear bikinis this summer. We had been on the edge and then I realized, I might not have a very flat stomach but I have a lot of muscle definition and even though its under a small layer of fat, I see women who are confident to wear bikinis much heavier than me. So we said we’ll work hard to be able to wear bikinis when we go on vacation in June. So that’s an exciting and terrifying thought all at the same time!
Other than that, not much else to share. Night time snacking has been slightly bad. I find myself snacking A LOT before bed. Some popcorn here, grapes, strawberries, an ice cream bar. Working on getting it under control. It hasn’t effected my weight but don’t want it to get out of hand.Seeing a movie tonight and left plenty of calories for POPCORN!!! Lovvvveee movie theater popcorn. And possibly a bad of Reeses Pieces? Uh oh! Lol. And prime example. I can enjoy the movies and get what I like because of my healthy balance of exercise. NOT too much.