This is really hard to show...

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

This is the second half of a solo I am due to compete in one month. This is also the first time I have taped it from behind. This is also something that, after a month of doing really well... knocked me off my high horse, and made me realize that I'm really NOT doing that well.

I can't stand the way my thighs look. I left the house thinking "I've been working really hard, and my quads are so much stronger. I'm going to brave the short shorts that were saved for when I hit my goal. It's only 10 pounds away, so lets try them out!"

Anyway, I need this up, and I need people to see it, because I need a reminder of why I'm not slacking off in the last ten pounds. I really need a good kick in the fat, jiggle arse, to get me to double my efforts!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am not a dancer by any stretch but I can tell when someone is passionate about reaching a goal. you are missing what is important here. look at all you have accomplished and somehow all of that is lost in "jiggle" this and "wiggle" that. As a friend, I would tell you to quit looking at the externals. That wasnt the first thing i saw. What I saw was someone who had the courage to follow after a goal and NOT wait until everything was picture perfect before even trying.

    Frankly you have alot more grace than I do. i would look silly trying to do that because I havent had the training.

    Get past the externals and fill your routine with passion, that is what most people notice first. most decent people see heart before anything else.

    If I waited until everything quit "wiggling" before I started running, I would still be 385.

    Go after your dreams and make it happen.
    2660 days ago
    You are an amazing dancer! You look great and you look confident. That's what mesmerizes the audience when you are performing. Don't let the negative and critical voice i your head take that confidence from you, because that's where the real sexiness is. Be strong and appreciate the body you've been given.

    P.S. I am working on the last ten too. And I've been stuck on it for almost 6 months. Let's keep each other motivated.
    2680 days ago
  • CORKY982
    Thank you for saying such nice things! I guess it really does depend on those who are looking. I know I can be overly critical of myself... I just don't know how it happened that for all the work I've done on my legs, I've managed to get the definition in my quads, and have my hamstrings look like THAT. It just means that I really need to work harder.
    2689 days ago
    I guess you want sympathy but that's impossible because there is nothing to sympathize over. Your thighs are awesome. (And I would kill for those quads. No matter what I do, I cannot get any definition.) Wow!
    2690 days ago
    Its funny because, my initial reaction to your figure when the video first started was wow! She is perfectly proportioned, curvy in all the right places with a flat belly. (My ideal body image by the way). Then when I saw what you wrote about the video, i was like, "What?! she doesn't like how she looks"?!?!

    Anyway...I say that to say this....even when we are in tip top shape, and look the best than we have in our whole lives, we will still find imperfection with ourselves at that moment in time. Even if we have had tons of success or even just a little success, we always see the "I gotta do more" in our image. It is at this moment that we have to change our own perception of our self and not see what still can be done, but see what has been done and how far we have come. And also to realize that where we are now is way better than where we use to be and know that we do not want to go back there again. We don't realize how someone else is worse off than we are, and would give anything to weigh what we way and look how we look at moments when we feel the "fattest".

    So, kuddos to you girl! Because to me, you look great. In my eyes, you are my "goal". So just try to be happy with what you have now, while working towards where you want to be. You are beautiful, and nothing less.
    2691 days ago
    You are doing great and a wonderful dancer! Keep it up!!
    2691 days ago
    You are doing great!!!! No need to feel bad about it! You have done very good up to now so you just have to keep it going!!! :) You still have one month when you can tone more and at the "Big Day" you will see you will look great!!!! :)
    I understand your feeling but I think both of us should be a little less critic with ourselves!!! :)
    2691 days ago
    I understand your feelings! However, I'd be remiss if I didn't point out that what I see in that video is a fit, graceful young woman dancing beautifully! Honor that body, even if it's not as perfect as you'd like just yet--it's letting you do some really cool, really BEAUTIFUL things! :-)
    2692 days ago
    That takes guts, good for you. Keep dancing like'll look great!
    2692 days ago
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