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Choosing My Hard: Living vs. Dying

Monday, February 07, 2011

Why in the world should the SuperBowl be such a fulcrum point for me I don't know BUT the thought occurred to me yesterday that SuperBowl 2010 was my low point in weight where for a teensy moment I actually crossed into One-derland for a few hours that day.

Since then it's been a slide upward in my weight, especially so during these winter months!

So I *know* I've been overdue for a tough, Dutch Uncle talk with myself and apply those words I've been so fond of (wish someone could tell me who said this...I think the credit goes to another member of our SparkFamily since I Googled it and came up empty-handed):

Being fat is hard.

Losing Weight is hard.

Choose your hard.

Now I'll take those words a step farther, kick it up another notch:

For me giving into gaining weight is sentencing myself to a slow death. Taking control of my health opens me to living my life to the fullest.

In "The Shawshank Redemption" (one of my all-time favorite movies) the choice is simply put: "Get busy living, or get busy dying."

Well then...? Time to get back to what I know works for me:

1) Tracking EVERYTHING in the Nutrition tracker!

2) Daily cardio of no less than 35 mins. NO SKIPPED DAYS!

3) Weighing in each week.

4) Limiting my carbohydrates to the occasional fruit, low-fat plain yogurt, almonds, low-carb flatwrap or whole grain pasta.

Other plans:

---start the free trial at the fitness center by the end of the week.
---really REALLY focus on getting more sleep so that
---I can get my morning mojo back and be up nailing that cardio first thing in the morning.

I've got too many wonderful plans ahead that DON'T include toting around ANY more weight than necessary!

While on the treadmill (first looked at the clock at 50 minutes out of the 60 total...lol) my mp3 player dished up another super round of tunes tonight...but the most striking one happened also to be the very last. It's not a fast song, but a very powerful one. One of my favorite female vocalists is Paula Cole...just LOVE the strength, emotion and power of her singing in the song "Me" from the album "This Fire."

For me this song is both a declaration of radical acceptance of oneself, warts and all:

it is me who is my enemy
me who beats me up
me who makes the monsters
me who strips my confidence

Coupled with a pronouncement of profound strength and belief in oneself that just will NOT be shaken:

i am carrying my voice
i am carrying my heart
i am carrying my rhythm
i am carrying my prayers
but you can't kill my spirit
it's soaring and it's strong
like a mountain
i go on and on

Check out the video at YouTube which has the lyrics:


And here is a video of Paula herself singing her song:


Let's all keep ourselves moving toward the light: To LIFE!


ps...HUGE thanks to BAMOM19 for recently posting her efforts to nail her backslide. She, along with myself and other members of SparkPeople were special guests last year on Dr. Oz's 100th show featuring 100 people who've lost 100 pounds or more. Here is my blog on that experience: www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
Her sharing helped pave the way for me to come clean and go public with MY efforts as well! Just GOTTA LOVE our SparkFamily! :-)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • DEBRA0818
    Great blog, Don! I agree with you that you're either "busy living or busy dying" or in my case, busy controlling my weight or busy letting it get totally out of control. I don't seem to have a cruisin' along fine speed. LOL! Having recently (last August) accepted total responsibility for my weight has freed me like no other prescription for it ever has. I'm making the choices each day that I want to make because they take me closer to the kind of freedom I've really longed for -- freedom from a lot of extra pounds and the health problems that go with that.

    Here's to continuing freedom!
    emoticon emoticon
    2436 days ago
    Love this and absoulutely 110% agree.
    2463 days ago
    You NEVER cease to amaze me, brother.
    2464 days ago
    loved this blog...thank you...
    2466 days ago
    What a fantastic blog. Thank you!
    2466 days ago
    Great lyrics Don,
    and very true.
    Making excuses for bad choices. Pulling the treadmill into the middle of the floor without getting on (fibbing) and hiding sweet wrappers under the car seat before hubby sees. Who am I kidding!
    I'm my worst enemy. I'm my biggest critic. I know that now.
    I'm in it for me. I am strong and confident.
    I'm gettin' busy livin'.
    2687 days ago
    hey Don..

    love the quotes!!
    and you are right i hate being busy to kill myself! its time to get busy living!!!!
    2689 days ago
    Love those lyrics, they're so relatable.
    Oh yeah, and I didn't know you'd been featured on Dr. Oz...congrats! After reading that, i googled to see if I could find videos (haven't yet) but saw Richard Simmons was a celebrity guest. Did you get to meet him?
    2689 days ago

    Thanks for the great blog, You are an inspiration to me. You know what my struggles are and have been. I will lose the pounds as soon as the medications are gone.
    2690 days ago
    Excellent blog!! very motivating. I also LOVE The Shawshank Redemption!!! I've watched it so many times I can't count, and I bought the tape, even thought I've been watching it on tv. lol.."Get busy living, or get busy dying." Heck Ya!

    I found someone else here in spark say something similar I love:
    I want to find joy in living , not eating!!!

    My husband and I both came to that conclusion in December. We set into motion our plan starting January 2nd. We cleaned out our cupboards to local food banks and stocked up on healthy stuff and haven't looked back.
    2690 days ago
    I love this.
    2691 days ago
    Nice Paula song! Choosing your hard is a great deal like chopping wood and carrying water. We appear to be on the same page once again.

    Congrats on the Dutch Uncle talk that led up to the decision to hit the gym hard. When the Chief said "Juicy Fruit" in the Coocoo's Nest movie we both like is when we knew things were really changing and freedom was on the way.
    I think this looks more like a coocoo flapping its wings that it does a cheerleader (see its little feet).
    2691 days ago
    Awesome blog! emoticon
    2693 days ago
    I am going to keep this simple, but profound....
    Don, you are emoticon
    2693 days ago
    thanks for the song Don! I just listened to it.. It's AWESOME! think i'm gonna add it to my "spark" repotoire of uplifting songs :)
    2693 days ago
  • MELANIE418
    Hi Don - I really loved the power I felt in your post. Your words feel so powerful and willful. I love how you have taken back your health and weight loss. It's very empowering. Thank you for reminding me of Paula Cole and "Me". I had forgotten how beautiful that song is and what an anthem to being your own best friend. Your post was great way to start my day. Thanks for writing it!
    2693 days ago
    Thanks for this!!! Word I needed to hear just now!!! Thank you, thank you!!
    2694 days ago
  • L*I*T*A*
    emoticon emoticon
    2694 days ago
    Don, I find you so inspiring, I'm adding you as a friend! I want to read more of your writing, and just bask in your optimism! I'm a backslider on my way back, too: had thyroid issues that packed 20 of my hard-lost 70 back on, and it's incredibly stubborn -- isn't going without a fight! So I need friends like you who have a lot of fight in them.

    Thanks for the inspiration today.
    2694 days ago
    In the short time that we've been getting to know each other a little I have seen that you must be a very strong & courageous man. I'm proud of you for your efforts and want to remind you that you are human. I know without a doubt that you will choose the hard that leads to life! Let's LIVE!!!!!
    2694 days ago
    Great perspective. Thanks for the reminder that neither path is easy.

    Have a GREAT day, Don!!!
    2694 days ago
  • LUREAH21
    You can do it!
    2694 days ago
  • FRECKS96
    Woot! You have a plan and I have no doubt that you'll conquer this hill. Good luck with your AM workouts-they've been a struggle for me lately too. Hopefully everything will get a little easier as the days get longer!
    2694 days ago
    Don I've been experiencing this myself. At least running a store like McDonalds I'm always moving all day long. I need to get going again in exercise dept. Lately fatigued at the end of the day. Need to ride the trainer in my room and shovel more snow. Maybe we can hook up for a ride this year. Bike is all tuned and ready to go. This mountain bike has been with me for 20 years. One positive thing still is I'm only eating salads with grilled chicken and low fat dressing, with the occasional small low fat ice cream cone.
    2694 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/8/2011 6:30:12 AM
  • JLITT62
    Ok -- wow --you were on Dr. Oz -- wish I'd known. I have been there my friend -- regaining, so mad at myself, so embarrassed. You have a good plan -- now work it! And we're here to make sure that you do! Cause

    2694 days ago
    Great job coming clean and facing what's been going on and what needs to happen! I can totally relate to what you're saying. It was just a little over a year ago that I was at my lowest weight-wise, and then, the slipping and sliding away from healthy decisions started happening. I've finally gotten to a point this year where I can feel positive strides, but it's taken a while, and it has been the toughest time I've had since started on this journey.

    I wish you all the best with your plans, and I know you can do whatever you set your mind (and heart) to!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2694 days ago
  • SCOTTK3000
    sounds good! I'm with you!
    2694 days ago
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