Sunday, February 06, 2011
"Without forgiveness life is governed by...an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation." Roberto Assagioli
Oh My Goodness...have more heart rending words ever been spoken? Now as I write this, I understand that anyone reading it will immediately think that I am a grudge-holding non-forgiver of those who "wrong" me or hurt me, who has just seen the light when she read this quote.
Interestingly, I am not. I forgive rather easily, and usually am the person who looks for the reason that someone has done something bad to me or to someone else. But this quote, this quote goes beyond just "you did something bad to me and I'll hold a grudge forever." Because this quote speaks to our very souls. I think that forgiveness is easy to grant to those in my world. I will say that if I am "wronged" by someone, I forgive easily, but I don't tend to forget, and I never fail to learn from the experience. Chances are that person will not ever be in a position again to hurt me. But that is not about revenge, or retaliation, it is about self-protection, and I am quite good at that, without any apologies, by the way..
But this quote speaks to me, and perhaps should speak to everyone, about how we treat ourselves. While it is oh so easy to forgive others for what they might do that affects me, I find it oh so difficult to forgive myself for not meeting my own internal standards. I find myself becoming more and more impatient with me. I don't beat myself up, but I find myself rolling my eyes at what I view as my own self-rationalization of my failures on my journey to health. And this quote re-affirms something that I guess I know and have always known: it is counterproductive to behave in such a manner. Perhaps I could just be as understanding with myself as I am with others, learn from the experience, adjust what I can and should, and continue to move forward. Because let's face it, what are the alternatives? To stop trying? To scream at myself to stop screwing up? Don't see how that does much good, as the quote says, then I would just be doomed to that endless cycle of resntment and retaliation, and then I may as well just throw up my hands and quit.
I know folks who live in that endless cycle of resentment and retaliation, they are not happy, they have no joy, they are never satisfied; they never see the bright side, instead are cynical and derogatory, jaded and just plain mean. I don't want to be that person, especially with myself as the target of those negative feelings!
So here is a reminder to me to be kind to myself..and a reminder to everyone to do the same..
Have a Sparky day!!