SCREWIE

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Headless chicken!

Saturday, February 05, 2011

That's me!
These are my last few days in Florence and I'm trying to fit everything in. Everything being not much really, except a dismembered family that is almost impossible to get together (ahhhhh, the beauty of in-fighting families). I'm trying to give more or less equal time to my father and my mother, but failing miserably. I've spent much more time with mum than dad and feel very guilty about it. Especially because I'd have preferred the other way around, but mum was ill so I tried to stay at hers most of the time.
I'm also trying to fit in two aunts who have just returned from the UK where they spent the last month looking after my cousin who had a baby the day before my birthday. And of course my sister who lives just out of Florence.

I can't wait to get back to London and have my own space back. At the same time I'm ridden with guilt and keep thinking that I really should stay here longer 'cos I didn't do enough for my mother who's ill; that I didn't spend enough time with my dad who, on the other hand, has always been available to ferry me around whenever I've been stuck; that I should have given my sister more time, as she's so stressed out that the other day she burst into tears, and maybe tonight I should go home with her after she finishes work, getting there around 11 pm, and coming back tomorrow morning which would mean a 5 o'clock rise. On the other hand I should also have dinner with my aunts before I go, and tonight I could see one of them, which I couldn't do if I went to my sister's.

I've just deleted the last two paragraphs I wrote 'cos they were full of moans and groans and I don't really want to dwell on that, more than I have already. Apologies for the downer blog!

So, the good news instead: the other day I texted Mr Gent to tell him much the same as what I wrote above, that I couldn't wait to get my own space back but at the same time I felt sad and guilt-ridden about leaving, and I wouldn't mind spending some time with him, sprawled on the sofa with a DVD and a nice cuddle.
Yesterday he texted back that he can stay at mine from Thursday night until Sunday morning and he also thought that sofa, DVDs and cuddles were a nice idea :)
He also asked me what I'd like as a belated birthday present! Panic, now I definitely have to get him something else, apart from the books I already got him here. I'll spend Thursday strolling around Crouch End to see what I can find, unless for some miracle I can see something else here in Florence.

Have a nice weekend everyone!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LEXIE63
    Families like that are a nightmare to deal with. I know! I'm the one left out of everything because of my Mother's matriarchal claptrap! She left us when we were little kids, and long story short, we just clash as adults because she tries to tell me what to do and as far as I'm concerned she lost that right the day she left. I think we are more similar than we'd care to admit too, if I'm honest. LOL. But it does mean I miss family weddings and stuff because they can't ask me or she will have a hissyfit. (She wouldn't come to Bryony's because I'd be there!!!)

    Anyway, I understand how that feels, being stuck in the middle. It sucketh! Bigtime! Given the situation, you have done the best you could though, and though I am sorry you didn't get more time with your Dad, I'm sure he understands the situation.

    You must really be looking forward to getting back home for a little r&r with Mr. Gent. :-) Whatever you get for him he will love!
    Hugs,
    Lex xx
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3543 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4929386
    Wow - sounds like you've got your hands full and a wee moan was justly deserved.
    I hope you manage to balance all the family visits as best as is possible.

    It sounds like Mr Gent's has some chill out time all planned.
    Enjoy!
    Lxx
    3545 days ago
  • 2MCHCHKLIT
    Ah, Mr. Gent...whatta guy!! emoticon
    3545 days ago
  • GOANNA2
    Don't feel so guilty my dear.
    You have done your best and you have
    to go and have your own space again.
    You can't be everywhere and you have
    been a help just being there.
    3545 days ago
  • no profile photo LYFO12
    Try not to feel guilty! I know, easier said than done. I agree with everyone in that you have done all you could. I'm really glad that you will be spending time with Mr. Gent when you get back home. Take it one day at a time. Miss you! emoticon
    3545 days ago
  • THINRONNA
    I understand those feelings that you are having but you are really doing a lot! Probably all that you can do. Your family does appreciate you and know how much you care. I agree with others here who are saying that I hope you get some you time! Enjoy your time when you get back with Mr. Gent as well!
    3545 days ago
  • TWOTIMESS
    emoticon
    It will be nice having you back. You've done what you could, sharing your time with most of the family, so don't feel guilty! They know you love them, so it's OK. As for Mr Gent... stop panicking!
    3545 days ago
  • KELPIE57
    We do so much for others, and feel so guilty....been there done that. Just maybe it would be a good idea to take a step back, and look at what you have done... and that is lots! The only thing you can change is you. So maybe deciding that it is ok is ok?
    And enjoy your own space....shared or otherwise he he
    3545 days ago
  • EMMASB
    Wow! i hope you find some YOU time in all of this. I get the guilts too sometimes esp with family and then i realize i wd feel like that no matter what i did or didnt do for them anyway. So may aswell please myself which means im better company for them anyway. Enjoy Florence and Crouch End sweet gal!
    3545 days ago
  • EMMASB
    Wow! i hope you find some YOU time in all of this. I get the guilts too sometimes esp with family and then i realize i wd feel like that no matter what i did or didnt do for them anyway. So may aswell please myself which means im better company for them anyway. Enjoy Florence and Crouch End sweet gal!
    3545 days ago
  • EMMASB
    Wow! i hope you find some YOU time in all of this. I get the guilts too sometimes esp with family and then i realize i wd feel like that no matter what i did or didnt do for them anyway. So may aswell please myself which means im better company for them anyway. Enjoy Florence and Crouch End sweet gal!
    3545 days ago
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