Failing on Food
Saturday, February 05, 2011
For the past month I've been so good eating low fat, low cal, good protein, and not sacrificing. Well I didn't think I was sacrficing. I still had McDonald's occassionally although I haven't had a quarter pounder or mushroom swiss angus burger and I still have my chai tea latter (non fat of course) I have even found a way to keep pizza in my meal plans (thanks to Hungry Girl). For some reason this week I've struggled. I have not gone over or under but it seems to be getting harder. I don't want to measure anymore, I don't want to eat oatmeal while the rest of the family has pancakes and sausauge. I don't want to eat an apple while the family enjoys carrot cake. I guess maybe I'm getting lazy. I long for the ease of frozen microwave meals and prepackaged breakfasts. Having been aneorexic for a long time I got into the mode where I'm lazy about food. Food makes you fat so why would I go out of my way to get it. Of course I know that food is not the enemy and without I would never be able to run let alone live a healthy in general lifestyle.
So why do I not want to eat? I love running. I'm thrilled with having lost 5 pounds and honestly quite a bit of foods taste really good. I like that when I'm hungry I can eat and when I have a craving I can find a healthy way of getting it. It just takes so long. It takes forever to use the recipe calculator and I'm not even sure I'm doing it correctly so I stick to items like sandwiches, wraps, and single servings items that I can easily calculate for one person.
Its not just food either. Twice this week I have skipped my strength training. Not because I don't want to do it but because by the time I get around to it I'm tired and want to go to bed and its late. I haven't been doing any extra cardio and have pretty much just been running. I'm doing really well in my running and I feel great about that but I'm short on something or another every day and have to figure out what to eat to make all my goals. I'm either eating too high in carbs leaving me short on fat or too high in fat leaving me short on calories. I have somehow lost my balance and am not sure how to get it back. I'm afraid my slipping will lead to my failing which will lead to my stopping. I am happy with what I've accomplished and I would like to step it up and do more. I know I have more in me and I feel like I'm being lazy. I'm just not sure how to step it back up and refocus. I guess I'll just have to think about it.