Having a rough time but learning a lot...
Thursday, February 03, 2011
January started out great for me. I was so excited and so eager to learn and to start everything. Then reality hits and I stumbled, but that was ok. I was ready to overcome and do better.
Well, that was the plan. I am sorry to say I am still not exactly ok but I am fighting it. If this blog seems mixed up and out of order, it kind of is.
I have a lot of stress in my life right now. In addition to that stress I suffer from depression and anxiety. I am having a really hard time coping with everyday life much less a new lifestyle. I have been trying to discover why I get hungry when I shouldn't be and why I react the way I do to things. It's harder than it sounds to really look at your life and actions and not only take responsibility for them and change them but to understand them too.
I love inspirational stories and I love hearing success stories BUT depending on the delivery it can have more of a negative impact than anything else. Some people love to say things like "if I can do it than anyone can" and I know it is meant to be movtiational but it really just makes me feel worse. Because if "anyone" can then why am I having a hard time. I mean sure, it's easy to lost weight in theory. Eat less, eat better, exercise more. Try to fit that into life and make it work. Possible, yes. BUT HARD.
I read a message on this site where someone asked for help with scheduling in exercise in a busy life. I am SICK of hearing how there's always time and it's just an excuse. I would love for those to have to live in my life for a while with the difficulties I am facing and have faced. It's not just about finding time and making yourself do it, it requires a lot more. I have real problems with depression and anxiety and those affect every aspect of my life. Also, I am out of the house on average 13-15 hours a day and NO I don't have the benefit of exercising on my 20-30min unpaid lunch. I have to eat.
I find it insulting to hear that 'no time' is just an excuse. No time is the truth sometimes.
I have so much I would love to write but I'll stop here. At this point I am starting to feel more rather than less stressed.
I am trying, I am not giving up. I am learning. I am moving ahead. I have things to deal with and overcome and I will, in time. My own time. I won't let anyone's opinion of me make me feel worse than I already do. (or I'll try not to)
I just wanted to add here that at time of writing I was in a pretty bad place.