What would happen if I really did hit the 120s?
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
I've gotten all the way to 130 but have been hanging in the 130 - 133 range. I think there's some real block going on here. It reminds me of this lovely book I read not too long ago. One character is standing in a doorway, about to step into freedom. She turns around and looks at her friend and says, "I can't do it! I'm scared!" And the other woman hauls off and pushes her right on her ass. They both start laughing, and just laugh and laugh. She realizes, there she is, flat on her ass - free. And she's still ok! I think this is what I need - I need to be that friend that just hauls off and pushes me past that scary point and into the 120s, so close to my goal of 120, so close to actually doing what I've said I wanted to do for so many years. I don't know what's so scary about it, but I guess it's time to find out!