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I need a Do-Over button...

Monday, January 31, 2011

This whole past year has been an exercise in frustration and I am really seriously considering how these high levels of prolonged stress are affecting me physically. I was doin well, seemed to be slowly losing weight and getting in better shape, then everything seemed to stall and stay there - right along side all the bs going on in my life.

The past year or more has felt like every move I make to improve my life, improve myself, has been met with so many road blocks they are more like mountains. My job search that continually yielded no results, the move to the middle of nowhere with no work no friends no life, the bs in my relationship finally coming to such a level of incredible hurt, that I was forced to leave it and start completely over - with nothing but what little I owned, a dumb dog, and a silly cat. And the insane struggle to try and keep a roof over my head with a grossly inadequate income.

Something's gotta give dammit. Bout the only positive in this past year has been that I have indeed dropped a few pounds - but not in a good way. The pounds have come off from simply not eating (can't eat when I'm mega stressed or when there simply is no food). This is not a good way to lose weight and I know it - all I'm losing is lean muscle mass, I'm sure, as my body tries to get it's protein needs met at all costs.

I'm beyond frustrated with life in general - I'm so unmotivated to do anything, that the idea of getting my butt up and working out seems ludicrous - and I'm thoroughly depressed.

I need a Do-Over button... one that, when pressed, let's me go back and make wiser choices, so my life doesn't end up where it is... on the cusp of disintegrating, leaving me totally lost...

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • RUFIT-
    Okay I hit I don't know how many of these damn wall/plateau things. They are incredibly tough on your mtivation to continue. But you keep your head up and keep on fighting cause you'll break those plateaus. And when you do you feel your inner power grow. I call it body over mind. Your own mind is your biggest wall. Keep breaking it down and your inner strength to achieve becomes the leader of your motivation. Toughin up Missy and get to it! Lol, I know you dont need the tough talk it just seem to go with what I said. I'll be anxious to hear about your wall breaking experiences.
    2520 days ago

    Thanks for the words of encouragement, much appreciated.

    As to the sounds like your mother, no worries... I do the same at times and when I catch myself, I groan LOL.

    I will try to stay focused on the end goal, not the struggle to get there, but man oh man, it's hard to do when it seems like the struggle to get there is akin to goin thru some hellish gauntlet designed to annihilate my spirit and passion... I'm so over it bleh ...

    Thanks again for caring. It's nice to know ppl out there notice and care...

    2666 days ago
    Hi me!

    You definitely sound like you need a Do-over button! But, until someone invents one, take one struggle at a time. You will be stronger in the end. (Ugh... sounded like my own mother... sorry!)

    Hang in there. Your SP buddies are cheering for you and I'll be praying for you too!


    Keep reaching for what is possible and the seemingly impossible might just happen. emoticon
    2666 days ago
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