CLADY326
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1/29/11: I need to do this today.....

Saturday, January 29, 2011

I am losing control right now with my life. A few weeks ago or so I made a commitment to someone to do better as a T. Leader with participation and did it with nothing but the best intentions. My sleep was getting better at the time and with the roll over of the new year I felt it was time to step it up. Anyway I was waking up at a decent time and truly felt that I was on a good track in my life. Then as soon as I start with the positive and upbeat thinking, my sleep goes to pot and my Fibromyalgia (FMS) and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) is creating havoc with my body. Pain where you can't move and you just want to stay in one position in bed.

I can't seem to get ahead, not even ahead, but stay afloat financially. I share my house with roommates which helps pay the bills. I am relying on my MOM and my sons to help out with my portion of the bills. Before my life was taken over with this FMS and CFS...I was strong, vibrant and very independent. I supported my children and myself without the help of anyone. I have been dealing with FMS and CFS since 2004.

I often cry because I feel like a failure even though I know I am doing the best that I can. I HATE relying on my parents for $$. And my MOM she is soooooo. well words can't even describe your willingness to take care of me, I know I would be in more of a world of hurt if it weren't for her and my dad.

I feel like the more I try to do better the more my body wants to hold me back. Everyday is such a struggle. So this is why I felt the need to open up and share this with my fellow spark sisters.

Thanks for reading and listening to my venting.

Hugs, Anna
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ANIHAKA
    Congratulations on your positivity despite your illness, with your present attitude you will win out in the end. You will be in control not those illnesses because like me and the rest of us on here you have made the right choice - to take the positive road. emoticon emoticon
    3061 days ago
  • TRACIE52
    As I have made public my life is falling apart at the seams. But as I have found out, if you share, there are plenty of people willing to lend a hand, an ear, a whatever body part you need. You just need to ask. I am glad that you shared. And I am here for you.

    And all that said, I think you are a wonderful team leader. I don't know about what happens on the other color teams but I think that we have a fabulous team full of caring people who put forth the best they can and I wouldn't trade this experience of being a Diva for the world.
    3180 days ago
  • GRNDMOM43
    Anna after a week where I could barely breathe, not talk above a whisper and very limited activity due to rough breathing I am here to say that I am here to help in any way I can. There are times I just can't do the exercises but I am always here in spirit for you and the team. emoticon and emoticon Nola
    3180 days ago
  • CANDOIT54
    ITs hard to need to ask someone for help financially. Ive had to borrow from my daughter before and Ive hated to do it.
    Hope things get better for you cause we need you here.

    emoticon

    Judy
    3181 days ago
  • DOLPHINE35384
    Anna, If there is anything we can do for you please ask. We are all Diva Sisters. I'm glad you felt like you could open up to us. We are here for each other. I wish I were closer I would help you out as much as I could. You are the best leader on here. Very involved which makes the team involved. This team is awesome and it is because of the leader that makes the team.

    We can do this together and get through it as a team
    THE DIVA SISTERS!!! emoticon
    Wendy
    3181 days ago
  • GRANNYS5
    Anna, we are here for you - what ever you need. I wish I were closer to you, I couldn't help much financially as I am about in the same position as you it sounds like! But I could give you hugs, listen, and be a shoulder to cry on. You can do this you are a strong person. Hang in there...
    I know what ya mean about the pain and just not wanting to move. I am glad you felt you could confide in us, we are here for you... You are a great leader, we all have our days, and weeks and none of us are perfect and do not expect anyone else to be. We are Diva sisters, we can get through this TOGETHER emoticon emoticon emoticon
    jill
    3181 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/29/2011 9:17:26 PM
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