A lot, I know.
Friday, January 28, 2011
I know I only posted last night (see "A glass case of emotion") but I have been reflecting nonstop and I really feel confident about some decisions I have been making even just in the past 24 hours. I was always the person who felt like if I didn't have my heartrate up at 170 for an hour that my workouts weren't worth it. I woke up this morning with no intention on weighing in. This week I had binged like never before and was very scared to step on the scale, fearing maybe 3-4 pounds. I didn't FEEL fatter but I just was nervous. But I told myself, it's stupid not to. It's dumb to think I'm faking myself out by thinking I wouldn't gain on a week like this. So I weighed in. Guess what. I didn't gain. I didn't GAIN. I DIDN'T GAIN. This is like a wake up call to me to calm down. It's a wake up call to me saying your life doesn't have to be a struggle. I woke up this morning and popped in the new Jillian Michael's Yoga dvd I'd gotten through Netflix and I felt fantastic when I was done. It was my first attempt at yoga and I actually liked it a lot. I realized days like today where I have school from 11-1 then work from 2-8, days where by 8 I will be EXHAUSTED, I need a more relaxing, more restful workout. I don't think going to the gym and whipping myself is needed nor helpful on a morning like today. I felt like yes I wanted to get my blood pumping a bit, and I wanted to do some strength training, but I didn't want to leave the house and drive on the icy roads. I didn't want to do the bike because shoveling yesterday left my legs tired and my wrists hurt. So I did a yoga dvd. Did I burn 1,000 calories? No. But you know what I'M OKAY WITH IT. This is part of my therapy, to be okay with something that isn't 180 percent. I got some great stretching and strength training in. Jillian Michaels doesn't fool around ya know lol. And after the 25 minute dvd I did some crunches and sit ups to do a little extra core work, and I felt good. I felt relaxed. And I think that's the point of yoga. And if I do that mornings where I have a long day, I will feel better and I really do. I am looking forward to exploring yoga more as a possible remedy to my anxiety. I also told myself tomorrow morning I'll get on the bike for 45 minutes, do some arm work while I'm on it, and that's a great workout too. I want to focus on strength and training for a half marathon in late summer or fall. I have so many plans now to help ease myself into a new regime of taking better care of myself. Calorie counting will never end but I am not regimenting too much. I've counted calories for an entire year. I know how much to eat to not go over my limit without writing it down. Some days yeah I'll calculate. But I know I'm going to be okay.
This is the beginning of a new week. I didn't gain so my focus this week is to research some new strength moves and possibly try this week to do three days of running for 60 minutes and the other 3 days, 30 minutes of cardio and thirty minutes of strength. That's a loose regimen because Fridays I will probably try to make "dvd day" and see about getting more dvds or the other Jillian Michael's dvd that I really want the No More Trouble Zones. I never thought I'd be okay with a dvd but I am. Exercise comes in so many forms, I don't need to murder myself. Strength training is my primary focus so as long as I have my three to four days of intense strength I feel I'm still on track.
Okay I have to get ready now lol. But I just had to share.