The question nobody wants to hear..........

Monday, January 24, 2011

OK, so someone asked me if I was pregnant on Saturday.....
My kids and I went to a birthday party, one of my son's friends who he has basically known since birth - his mom and I worked together and were pregnant at the same time. So, this lady, who is also at all of the gatherings and parties, I think she's a family friend, she comes over to me and says "I never ask this unless im completely sure, but you are having a baby, arent you???" I was like "no, its just fat". Usually, when this happens to me (YES, its happened more than a few times before), I actually feel embarassed for the person asking, and sometimes I've even just went along with it, if its a complete stranger asking, just because i'm so humiliated to admit the truth, but I couldn't even do that this time. I mean, I did have on a shirt that could have passed as a maternity shirt, so I probably DID look pregnant, but still......why do people insist on doing that??? And how many times is it gonna happen to me before I decide to do something about it??????

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    She was just rude!
    3316 days ago
    I think a serious punch in the FACE is needed for this! It's happened to me too girl. It hurts! emoticon I am so sorry this happened. :( :( Stay persistent for your healthy life! emoticon
    3316 days ago
  • PUNZIE73
    Ouch! Did you punch her in the throat? (Oops, sorry, that's my evil voice inside my head talking.) I liked the comment below that read, Yes, I'm 10 years along already! That's a good one! I've had a strict rule regarding woman and their pregnancies:

    1) Unless you know for a fact, don't ask.

    2) Some woman have experienced miscarriages and their tummy hasn't gone down yet. Trust me, it's complete torture to hear this once you're no longer carrying a bundle of joy!.

    3) Pregnant woman's bellies are NOT public domain. Please NEVER RUB a complete strangers belly. Would you start stroking the body part of a random stranger? I don't think so.

    I hope you've healed from that comment.
    3316 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/11/2011 1:47:01 PM
    OUCH... she is a total clod. I think that question says more about her lack of social skills than your bod. My theory is that you don't ask that question unless someone is in the middle of labor and delivery and you can see a head crowning!
    3337 days ago
    This happened to me and I started my weight loss journey the very next week... after I cried and then realized that I can control this. You can too. We have all been there and now we need to all pick ourselves up and start making it look like we did before kids. I am so sorry you had to go through it. Sucks really bad. Use this as motivation.
    3361 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7508816
    I've been there, and it amazes me that people don't learn to keep their mouths shut. I like Amber's response to the question because it puts the shame back on them, and allows people to understand the pain of their rude words. We are all beautiful, and we're all made differently. Change yourself because YOU want to, not because of this one incident.
    3361 days ago
    Thanks - glad to hear i'm not alone!!! And the worst part is, it didn't really seem like she felt that bad about it!!!!! She was like "Oh, yea, I know how it is, i hold most of my weight in my stomach too...." I wanted to say, well then WHY would you ask me that?????? But I tend to shy away from any type of confrontation (one of my weaknesses I really wish I could overcome), so for me, just admitting to her that i WASNT pregnant was a big step!!!!! lol

    Thanks for all your comments, maybe we can all gang up on the next person who asks us that!!!!

    3361 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8005065
    I remember that first time that happened to me. I was so embarrassed. My stomach has always been my major problem area.
    3361 days ago
    When somebody asked me that I said, "Yeah, I'm 10 years along already."

    3361 days ago
    Yes, it has happened to me... did not feel that good I admit. Myself I am careful of asking those things but everybody is not...
    3361 days ago
    When will people learn? Really! I was asked that when I was a shy, insecure 18 year old working my first job - retail - in front of customers. I was mortified. If someone wants others to know they are pregnant, they will tell them...I'm just sayin'.

    You are not the one who should feel bad - they should. You could just respond with "why do you want to know?"...lol.
    3361 days ago
  • TERRYT55
    It's happened to me too.....after losing 50 pounds. I thought I looked so good too. I went home, started eating and gained back every pound. People are just plain rude! I hope she was mortified.
    3361 days ago
  • JENRYAN9278
    I have been there done that as well. I am sorry they asked you that and know how you feel. I too carry my weight their as well. One day we will not be asked those questions! emoticon emoticon
    3361 days ago
    I saw the title on my friend feed....(I had a feeling it was that question) and yes I have been asked. It was when I was younger and I was mortified. It was in church of all places.

    Seriously now that I am 52 and speak point blank without any hesitation my reply would probably be "No I am not and unless you know someone is pregnant for sure it is very rude to ask".

    Or you could
    just kidding!

    Some people just need to get a clue about manners. Sorry you had to deal with such an ignorant person.
    3361 days ago
    I was asked a few times. It was traumatizing. I don't care how "sure" someone is, it's rude. I hope she was mortified.
    3361 days ago
    I was asked a few times. It was traumatizing. I don't care how "sure" someone is, it's rude. I hope she was mortified.
    3361 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2699608
    That happened to me quite often. I tend to hold all my weight in my stomach. Why would someone say that to anyone unless that person tells you she is pregnant. Some people have no common sense.....
    3362 days ago
    I was mortified the last time I was asked that, and I weighed around 190 at the time! So this was AFTER losing 60 lbs and thinking I was looking okay-ish. It was a complete stranger (a guy!) and he was truly embarrassed that he asked, but still....who does that?

    3362 days ago
    Guilty - Last year a complete stranger asked my friend if I was pregnant while we were standing in the checkout line at the grocery store... My friend was completely mortified and could not stop laughing in disbelief... It took me a good ten minutes to convince him to to tell me what the man had said to him. I suppose if anything, it's comforting that we have all had "those days"... Thankfully, they can provide us with inspiration and motivation to make changes in our lives, so one day those "ballsy" people who don't think before they speak, can eat their words... Now, THAT will be a great day! :)
    3362 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8094676
    Oh, it has happened to me so many times. I am sorry for you, but you can do it!

    3362 days ago
    That happened to me :( and it pushed me to work out and i've lost 24lbs since (maybe more because i didn't dare weigh myself until a month after working out). Take baby steps if you're having a tough time getting the ball rolling, for example, make sure you drink 8cups of water a day, then try to do the 5-6 meals a day thing and some light walking...and move on to something else. What exercises do you enjoy doing? If there are none, you should look around sparkpeople, i found my soulmate workout!
    3362 days ago
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