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Friday, January 21, 2011

Feeling much better now that I'm back at work. The crying spells still come and go. I know that I will never truly get over this loss but I know that I will keep moving forward. That's what he would want me to do. Making little steps to get back on track. Since I had stopped eating for a few days, I have been much better at portion control than I was previously. I always seemed to struggle with portion control. That doesn't seem to be the issue anymore. I am taking things one day at a time, one minute at a time. As long as I am making progess, I'm happy. It doesn't matter how little the progress is. When I do slip up, I'm not beating myself up like I used to do. I really feel passive at the moment, which has never been my personality. I am trying to find the good in myself out of all of this tragedy.
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    Hey Hon!! I just read your blog on your New Years tragedy. I can so relate to you right now. My fiance died on Christmas eve. He was diagnosed with liver failure right before Thanksgiving and progressively grew worse. It has been difficult as I'm sure you know but I've given everything to God and I must say He has kept me when I've wanted to pick up the phone and call him about something, when I want to stay in bed and cry and mope. I've drawn great strength in Him and my daughter seems to know when her mom needs her closer. There's nothing wrong with you getting healthier and focusing on you. The memories will always be in your heart, but you want a healthier heart don't you? I'm making this a honor to him and my parents. I'm planning to continue to do the breast cancer walk in honor of my mother and to find other walks to do in honor of my father and my fiance. What better goals to set than ones that remind you of your boyfriend and getting healthier at the same time? Go for it and be encouraged every day it will get a little better.
    2647 days ago
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