Actual excerpts from classified sections:
Friday, January 21, 2011
Illiterate? Write today for free help.
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
Dog for sale: It eats anything and is fond of children.
Stock up and save. Limit: one.
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home too.
Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.
Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.
Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home.