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My Absolute No List

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Reflections on Chapter 6 in The Art of Extreme Self Care.

"The Absolute No List" is a list of activities that you no longer do, don’t want to do, or would like to give up.

(The original list I made was ridiculously long, so I have just picked the best ones and put them here. But this is still long, so you might want to get some snacks and go to the bathroom first.)

Things I absolutely no longer do:

- I no longer hang out with people who make me feel like shit.
- I no longer allow relatives drop by unannounced. (Yes, that is related to the one above.)
- I no longer get involved in other people's personal drama, a.k.a. try to “rescue” people.
- I no longer put things on C/C that I don't pay off in a month.
- I no longer martyr myself at work.
- I no longer feel guilty about my life choices or use my past mistakes to hurt myself.
- I no longer accept hand me downs from family that are not my taste. (I give myself permission to surround myself with only things I absolutely love!)
- I no longer allow anybody to hold money over my head.
- I no longer allow anybody to devalue my contribution to a romantic relationship because I do not make a certain amount of money.
- I no longer feel badly about not fitting into social norms and conventions.
- I no longer take calls while I'm with spending time with a friend.

Things that I no longer do for the most part, but sometimes I slip up. These are works in progress:

- Hold on to things “I might need one day" - and then never use them! I have made HUGE progress in this area, but once and while I catch myself hoarding something. Then I either use it and enjoy it, take care of it as it was meant to be, or give it away.

- Stop gossiping at work. This is only a problem at work. I get sucked in to stupid conversations because I don’t relate to my co-workers on other levels. Such a waste of time and energy!

- Allow people to pressure me into making purchases that are not in my budget. This is hard because I am still recovering from shopping addiction and since my anxiety levels are very high, I am very susceptible compulsive shopping. Yuck!

Things I would like to give up:

- Check work emails while on vacation. Guilty as charged!
- Living too much in the future. I strive to be more fully present in the moment.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Love the blog! Great list of things that you are working towards.
    2665 days ago
  • MINNIEME1114
    I've been putting it off and putting it off...but I think I need to finally purchase the book. I had it about 20 years ago but that feels like a lifetime ago. You've inspired me! thank you
    2670 days ago
    Wow, this sounds like a challenging (in a good way!) book...
    2671 days ago
    I like your choices and I hope you can post them somewhere so that you can review and remind yourself.

    Great progress!
    2678 days ago
  • SILLYHP1953
    I think I just found the next book I have to buy. You are really doing great, and it sounds like you are studying this book and doing the lessons. I have a bad habit of reading books that ask me to do certain things and just saying I'll do that later and keep reading. That would have to be one of the things on my don't want to do list.
    2679 days ago
    Holy Crap! You and I really are alike! I'll add to the working part - saying sorry for things I have not control over - hence taking responsibility that is NOT mine to take. :)
    2679 days ago
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