I'm a control freak.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Yep, it's official I am a control freak. A few things happened today that kind of concreted it in my mind. One was a fight I had with my boyfriend this morning about chores and responsibilities. I am so wired into my schedule of how I do things and how I like things that when things are pushed aside it sets me off SO badly. I get so aggravated and angry and it's not right. Just because I can get 400 things done in the two hours before work doesn't mean everyone else has that ability. Not everyone works that way and I really need to start realizing that.
Second is, I have been SO good this week. All 7 days I have tracked like a maniac and kept myself at the low end of my calorie intake. I've even counted the two tbsp of creamer that I usually don't count but I did. And today I had a doctor's appt to see if my Epstein bar was back. So I knew she'd send me for lab work and you can't eat before lab work and don't have time to come back another day. So I went to the gym and ran for 45 minutes then did my strength training. I came home and packed myself lunch like a ten year old lol. I packed a chicken and spinach wrap with a light string cheese, an apple, and a smoothie of just banana and strawberries. I figured a heavier lunch was okay since I didn't have breakfast. So like a kid, after I got my bloodwork I DEVOURED my lunch in the car and I realized wow, how many people would actually pack a lunch for a doctors visit? But you'd be surprised how much I do that on my days off where I'm going to the mall or shopping or even to my Moms and I'll pack a snack bag so that I don't get hungry. For me keeping my appetite in check keeps me from bingeing and eating too much or the wrong things. It's MY big secret. Always be prepared.
So today I was making my tomato sauce and it came out grand. I just put the eggplant in the oven so I'll let everyone know how it is. Today my mom stopped by on her way home from work and I knew I just KNEW she'd want to go out to eat. And when she said it, I said I would go but not eat and she just kept saying "keep the eggplant for tomorrow and get something". Thankfully we went to Panera bread but I just felt so guilty I'd been so good and the day BEFORE a weigh in I am going to do this? But Panera is great and has the calories on their menu. So I got the half portion of the asian sesame salad and a cup of their new all natural chicken noodle soup. And being the OCD control freak I am, I only ate the lettuce in the salad and drank the broth and ate the chicken but not the noodles in the soup. I love my mom so sometimes I have to just go with it and do what I can to keep it healthy. I only ate so little because I know when this eggplant is done I want a piece. This recipe is all natural with no canned sauce, no salt, and no breading. I added only basil and garlic to the sauce. So even when I calculated everything into my sparkpeople calorie counter I am only at 940 for the day. I know it's bad to eat under 1200 ESPECIALLY since today I worked out but I also cleaned the house like a madwoman, scrubbing on my hands and knees and working up a sweat so I know I need to fuel for today. I just hope my tummy trouble of not being able to go doesn't effect my weigh in.
So I'm gonna go cuz for some reason my back is killing me. But I have a HUGE long day tomorrow and start my class at college that will enable me to get into the Ultrasound program. So I'm out of the house from 10-8 all day with school and work. So I plan on packing a nice lunch of probably a chicken wrap again with a string cheese and apple. And my snacks will be an orange (or 2), another apple, and possibly some yogurt or cantelope. I will pack it tonight so I'll decide. Now I'm going to go input tomorrows meals into my nutrition tracker. Here's to hoping my weigh in tomorrow is a positive one!