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Taking off the Training Wheels (Naked Without Gadgets)

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I have mixed feelings about this one, folks.

As I shared in my last blog, I had noticed a little increase in my anxiety around my eating and calorie watching. I received such great support and feedback, and I've done a lot of reflecting this past week. A few days ago, I did something bold (well, I think it's bold, lol): I removed my body bugg and I stopped counting calories. I did both of these things on the same day, sort of like ripping a band-aid off in one fell swoop.

Right away that little voice (and I do mean little--she's got much less oomph behind her than she did two years ago!) piped up and told me, "It's just a matter of time now before you start gaining weight." The part of me that's already feeling a little anxious latched right on to that, and for a brief moment, I BELIEVED that little voice. Silly me.

Then I got real. The good thing about all the tools that I used to help me lose weight is that they'll still be here any time I feel like I need them. If I feel like I need to go back to diligent calorie counting? My calorie tracker will still be here. If I feel like I need to keep better track of the calories I'm burning? I can pull the body bugg out of the drawer. It's scary to take off the training wheels, really scary. It's intimidating to imagine going forward trusting myself (it's much easier for me to trust the technology and the math/science!). And that's okay. I can be with that scariness. Because it's okay to trust myself to make healthy, appropriate decisions. It's also okay to look again for help (if I decide I need it).

So far I've had a couple of great days--my eating is unremarkable. I listen to my hunger cues, and I eat accordingly. I focus on feeding my body what it needs nutritionally (especially with the training schedule I'm working right now!). It feels lovely--the closest to "normal" I've felt around food and eating in my entire life! I deserve to enjoy it. I owe it to the woman/girl that struggled and wanted some clue about how to eat normally most of her life to enjoy it. :-) And so I intend to.

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  • BREW99
    I did the same thing a few months ago. I didn't have the cool Body Bugg but I was counting all the time. I find that it is actually a relief to not count all the time! Sounds strange but it does become almost an addiction to count calories and track every thing. I find that I make sure I am getting enough exercise each week is great for keeping track. In addition, I'll take a month off and then I will come back to tracking to make sure that I am still doing what I'm supposed to be doing. It's a check to assure myself more than anything else. I'm sure you will have great success with your training wheels off to. emoticon
    2971 days ago
    Wonderful post!
    2973 days ago
    i love this, trust in yourself and you WILL be ok. we all know intuitively when we are on or off track, doing all we can, half-as*ing, or finding the balance btwn. we have up and down days, on and off days, that is the nature of the beast called life. i think after all the solid groundwork you have laid u are ready for this next chapter of challenge which calls for relying on yourself instead of on some tech - i think u have mastered things enough to handle & enjoy it, way to go!! congrats on taking this lifestyle by storm!
    2982 days ago
    That's a huge success! I think you are braver than a lot of people and to you totally deserve that empowered feeling! AWESOME!!!
    2984 days ago
    Good for you! Sometimes it's hard to see just how much we've learned until we try and apply it without the extra assistance. And you're right - you do have those tools available to you at any time, should you need them! :)
    2984 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    You are so brave, and so inspiring! Keep up the good work.
    2984 days ago
    You sound like you're at peace. Normal eating it what I strive for at each meal time. Most times I do well, but some times I don't. I forgive myself and just start over at the next meal. You're doing a wonderful job in maintenance. I'm supper excited to continue following your training blogs. Keep 'em coming!
    2984 days ago
    ahhhhh normal... THAT is sooooo cool... and your thinking sounds very healthy to me!
    2984 days ago
    emoticon You have some really sound habits that I think will carry you forward in good stead. You are right that you can always go back to counting too if you feel you need to, but it may never be necessary. You have all the tools and know how to use them.

    Have fun living life!
    2984 days ago
    Good for you! I mean we can make counting calories our LIFE'S WORK (I feel like I already do sometimes), or you can take a break and then return to those tools anytime you like. You might want to weigh yourself occasionally, no more than a couple of times a month, and if you were to see the weight go up by say, more than 5 pounds then pull out the tools and tickers (but ignore the 1-2 pound fluctuations). Now I speak as someone who isn't at maintenance yet so I really shouldn't be giving whatever works for YOU!
    2985 days ago
    It sounds scary just reading your blog but emoticon I know of anyone - that you'll succeed at this lifestyle. You've got it in the bag. emoticon

    2985 days ago
    I can only imagine how anxiety you feel when taking off your training wheels, but you are soooo right. You did the work. Your body knows exactly what to do. And if you ever need a little help getting steady, the tools are still there for you. Kudos to you for seeing the big picture and knowing exactly what you need to take care of yourself.
    2985 days ago
    I am still using the Nutrition Tracker, but I stopped using my DirectLife (like a body bugg) monitor too. One day I realized that I know when I have a good workout and I know when I have taken it easy. I am more in tune with how I feel. I think these are all positive steps in changing your lifestyle and standing on your own two feet. Good for you.
    2985 days ago
    Letting your healthy lifestyle be the "wind beneath your wings"!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2985 days ago
    Congratulations on the big step.
    I know that you will do real well. Check in with us every now and then.

    2985 days ago
    emoticon Well done!
    2985 days ago
  • DRB13_1
    I can really empathize with this because I'm still one of those people who paces better to music, when part of me wants to just go out and RUN. So I'll try both, and understand that each has its role in my life, and that one is not necessarily better than the other (unless I have a specific goal in mind).
    Thanks for a thoughtful blog! I know you can do it. emoticon
    2985 days ago
  • FREES1
    way to go!!!! you've used your training wheels and have learned well, so it seems. Trust yourself and your learning! you'll be fine! and as you said, they'll wait for you if and when you need them!
    2985 days ago
    This is so great... I think that losing weight is hard (really hard), but the HARDER thing is learning how to be a thin person... and you are setting a great example... acknowledging that it's a minefield... that you are emotionally in very new territory. That the fear is there, and it's real. And you have your training wheels standing by if/when you need them. You can do this!
    2985 days ago
    Honestly Melissa, with everything that you've accomplished over the past year or so, I have no doubt that you will succeed at this too. That doesn't mean it will be easy, painless or smooth . . . but the road less travelled rarely is those things anyhow.
    2985 days ago
    emoticon As scary as it is, there has to be a part of you that feels liberated, too. Good for you! I love that you keep pushing yourself onward to a healthy, happy you.
    2985 days ago
    Congratulations. It sounds like a well earned reward as well as a long worked for skill. Enjoy.

    2985 days ago
    You are FREEEEEEE!!! emoticon How liberating that must be.
    2985 days ago
  • BANAN2
    With all the consistent effort you have made, and the resulting habits that have taken root, and the shift in your thinking and your reactions to what life throws at you, you have an impressive set of internal tools that you can draw on. You have learned to listen to yourself instead of trying to drown out your own inner voice from fear of the repercussions that might occur if you listened to it instead of what others were demanding of you. As a result, you have a wise woman to guide you and help you make course corrections as you go, as long as you keep respecting her and acting on what she says. I write this from observation, not personal experience. I hope one day to be able to find the same thing inside myself. I have confidence in you, Melissa!
    2985 days ago
    That IS scary but also so empowering! I've never NOT counted--I was either dieting (and counting) or binging. Very little "normal" eating. As a consequence, I have no idea how to follow my body's hunger cues. That you've come this far is TRULY impressive and so exciting. I strive to be where you are one day and I KNOW (based on what I've read from your blogs) that you are ready for this. emoticon
    2985 days ago
    Great blog. I can only imagine how scary this is, but you are know what to do and you know where to find the tools if you need them.
    2985 days ago
    WOW - what an amazing revelation!
    that shows how far you've come!!
    2985 days ago
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