"I am Sherlyn and "I AM A FOOD ADDICT!" Are you?
Monday, January 17, 2011
My name is Sherlyn and I AM A FOOD ADDICT! Are you?
I am a Food Addict . I AM A FOOD ADDICT!
“FOOD ADDICTS are people with a physiological sensitivity to certain foods that react negatively in their system. Willpower has nothing to do with it, and neither does moral character. Pg. 12 of the “Why Can’t I Stop Eating” book.
“You can’t change your biological makeup, but you can change your tendencies. As a person with cancer must undergo radiation therapy, a food addict must avoid certain substances.” (pg. 12 same book)
As soon as these certain foods enter our system, we physically crave more and more of them, and no matter how much is eaten, it will never be enough. Just as an alcoholic craves alcohol, some people physically crave certain foods.
I decided to start a series of blogs as I uncover layers of denial in my eating habits!
Some of you sparkers will be able to relate to my blogs and others won’t. I thank you now for your support either way! I am here to support all of you too.
Some will not relate because they don’t view food the way I do and they don’t have trigger foods and foods they find addictive.
Some will not relate because they are in denial. I was there too!
Brief overview of the last 6 mos. here on Spark. I had prayed to God for an answer to lose weight… I found a blog TWO-TOO-MUCH wrote about having success with losing weight.
*I started the eating plan July 24th. I lost weight every week. I was energized and feeling super good! I got to a place in a few short weeks where food didn’t even cross my mind unless I was hungry. Food became FUEL….
*I lost inches, pounds, clothing sizes and gained a healthy relationship to food.
*I did all this through probably some of the most stressful times I have ever had. Family issues, major financial issues, and many long working hours. I also did all of this and still had all the junk food and trigger foods in my house. Yeah those comfort foods aka ‘old friends’ winked and waved at me but I just didn’t care about them anymore.
Thanksgiving 2010 I ate on plan all day then I had a rice krispie treat, then the next day I had more sweets and more trigger foods and this went on for 3 days.
The whole month of December was a tug of war with me going back to some of my ‘old loves” and having a fling! LOL
I would eat on plan one day and off plan the next!
I WAS IN SERIOUS DENIAL!!! ( I will blog about Denial soon)
NEEDLESS to say I was STRUGGLING BIG TIME!
I kept strength training and managed to shrink some more and got into the next pants size down. It was a brief visit with those 8’s!
We had several more problems or obstacles arise in December and more family issues with our son (which is just life and everyone has problems) and my “playin’ around with fire” resulted in some ALL OUT BINGES!
The old me resurfaced and I have had a major relapse! I had not seen that “OLD ME” for almost 5 months and I sure didn’t miss her! (I will blog about RELAPSES later since they are a very real part of being a food addict)
In a nutshell though.. RELAPSE is “walking backward through the recovery process toward the disease, discarding recovery tools along the way. The relapse process is complete when the individual returns to the use of the addictive substance, at which time the disease is triggered at the physical level by the substance.” Quoted from the article “Avoiding Food Addiction Relapse” by Kay Sheppard
“Relapse does not begin with the first bite of addictive substances. It is a spontaneous, usually unconscious, process which ends with binge eating.” Again from Kay’s article .
So this walking backwards has now led me to dig deep and figure out what happened!
I could feel me putting on weight these last few weeks and of course I knew why! Inches happened first then pounds.
I have felt major depression (not sure what all the reasons are for that one ? although I know some of it is from what the junk food does to me with mood swings sugar highs and lows) I am normally an upbeat positive person and this has been strange to me.
I just could not seem to muster up the WILLPOWER to get back on track!
Every stinkin’ day I would plan to stay on track and EVERY STINKIN’ day I didn’t!
I prayed and prayed for God to show me what information I needed to see or what thoughts and memories I needed to recall to move forward!
A good friend here on Spark shared her copy of Dr. Debbie Danowski’s WHY CAN’T I STOP EATING?” (thank you H for that!)
GET this I had followed Debbies plan from July to December and I had never even read the book yet! LOL
(finances had been so tight that I could not justify buying the book! )
SO thank you fellow sparker for blessing me with this book! You were used of God!
I am reading and learning and researching the web and finding information on being a food addict!
I even searched spark for “food addict” and was blown away by the people that had blogged about feeling like they were one but not knowing what to do!
So my next blog will continue this journey!
Give me your feedback on this blog if you have any comments or questions! I will be posting a NEW BLOG TOMORROW about signs and symptoms of a food addict. STAY tuned!
I never wanted to believe there was such a thing as addicted to food because I thought it was just an excuse people used for overeating!
NOW I know I was wrong and I believe this is a very REAL DISEASE! BUT.. there is hope because I have experienced ongoing day to day recovery from July to December! I literally would FLY above the pull of food! AMEN!
Thanks for all your friendship and support on my journey!
Here is the damage done from the relapse:
Wgt. Was 172 first of Dec. I dipped to 169 for a brief visit (I will blog to explain that later since I got there during my backtracking journey)
Today I was 180.5
BUT this is ok.. COZ I have stopped it in it’s tracks and this girl is NOW MOVING FORWARD!
I am AWARE that I can JUST get back on the plan and lose the weight (AND I WILL DO THAT) but this time I have different motives for getting back on my eating plan (see 9-17 blog).
Before my motive was to "lose the weight" THIS time my motive is FREEDOM from this battle of being addicted to certain foods and FREEDOM from losing and gaining weight
And FREEDOM from the pull of certain foods!
I am not going back to the girl I used to be!
With God's help I am going to figure out the deeper issues and causes.
This Journey THIS TIME has no end!
There is no more 'lose the weight' and then go back to the old ways!
Stay tuned beautiful sparkfriends!
PS I am 100 percent back on my eating plan today and I will get past the withdrawals within 3 days!
I will post my daily weight for you to see my progress!
I remeasured too so I can see inches lost.