My last blog was about test tasting, as TexasFilly calls it. I got some VERY good advice on what not to eat, and my dear friend, Martha, tried one more time to get me to do low carb. I KNOW she wants to hit me on the head with a brick sometimes.
Some of you tell me stories of giving up bacon that makes me feel so sad for you.
And this turkey bacon stuff . . . UM . . . do you SEE anything on a turkey that looks like bacon?
Let’s examine a piece of bacon. Notice that it is mostly fat with just a little meat in it for flavoring. Now look at the turkey.
I tried turkey bacon one time. I choked down one entire piece. I took the rest of that package and made book marks out of it. I gave them away for Christmas presents. Looks like bacon. Tastes like cardboard. Not even high quality cardboard. If you give it a week to dry out just a little, you can paint it, glue beads and SPARKles on it, and use it for a book mark. Seriously. Gobble Gobble takes on a whole new meaning when you make stylish bookmarks from turkey bacon.
Bacon hurts me, too. I always pay for eating it with miserably swollen legs. Probably they are even dangerously swollen at times. And we will not even talk about SPAM and kraut. I might as well get sodium in an IV, right? When I get on a SPAM kick, I might eat that every night AND for breakfast for a week. Sometimes I swell so badly that it hurts to breath. I know that is not healthy. I know it is dangerous. Still, I satisfy those cravings.
You know, we had this conversation at work today about diets and giving up foods we love for our health. Denial with an exclamation point! The bottom line is that I just am not willing to give up foods or go on any type of diet. I gave up smoking 4 years ago, and I want a cigarette every single day of my life! EVERY DAY! Sometimes, like the last couple of months, I do this horrible thing. I fantasize about smoking. Not to pick on TexasFilly, but we went through the same program, and she is the one of my friends who grabbed me by the hair and kept me straight when I wanted to backslide.
She kept me straight for a long time, and I am still 100% smoke free, but I actually sit and fantasize about smoking a cigarette. I think about how it feels, tastes, smells, and comforts. I want one right now.
Four years later, I still deny myself nicotine every day, and I really really really want it. I don’t talk about it, but I want it. I simply am not willing to deny myself anything else. Does that make me a “bad” Sparker? I think about that from time to time. Maybe I should not even be Sparking because I refuse to entertain the idea of dieting. I definitely think that sometimes – especially when I a typing with one hand and holding a big bowl of SPAM, kraut, onion, and pickled beet s in the other hand. Am I hypocrite to be here and not diet? I struggle with that issue often.
Now don’t get me wrong, I do not eat salt on a stick every week. I probably do eat some bacon every week, though, and when I can get my hands on frash maters, I am not going to eat much of anything besides BLT4BLS– bacon, lettuce, tomato 4 breakfast, lunch, supper. Fortunately, frash maters are not around all year. I do eat a more healthy diet than I did before I found Sparks. I do practice portion control most of the time –not always. I don’t post a blog that says, oh yes, I did portion control today, though. LOL I do exercise something like 350 percent more than I did before I found SparkPeople. Seriously, I only exercised by accident before. Seriously? I have to park THAT FAR away from Wilson Hall? I have HEELS on for crying outloud! Now I walk on purpose, and I do that dreaded ETHING on purpose. That is an improvement, right?
Maybe it is not enough, but that is all I am going to do. Notice that I don't say it is all I CAN do. I can do it if I want to. You bet your booties I CAN! I just don’t want to. I have no doubt in my mind that dieting would send me straight back into the arms of the Nicodemon, and I do NOT want him in my life more than I want to be thin. Maybe I am a totally worthless Sparker, but I am a dang good QUITTER, and that is the way I want it to stay. Sorta. Kinda Sorta . . .