Friday, December 31, 2010
I have two sons whom I have raised alone even when their father (i use the term loosely) and I were married. We divorced in '02 and he decided to move to Florida. Has not been there for the boys or myself. My sons are now 21 and 23 and on their own. They both have a girlfriend of which I cannot stand. The one is straight forward about her attitude, the other on the other hand is sneaky, so I just found out. My son and her came to live with my boyfriend and myself for a couple of months until they move to Florida, you guessed it, with his dead beat father (I call him their sperm donor) that is when I found out their true colors; my son and hers. He treats her like a porcelain doll, whatever she wants she gets. She whines and demands to have what she wants when she wants it and he complies. I found out my sons true colors when he lied to my face not 5 minutes after telling me something she said.
Here is the scenario: I had surgery on 12/21/10 and on 12/27 I needed to go see the surgeon to have the steri-strips and stitch taken out, I asked my son to take me since I have had no time alone with him since they moved in and I thought it would be nice to spend sometime together before they went to Florida, well she had a fit, she was upset because in her words they are a package. This is what he told me she said, when I confronted her and repeated what he told me he looked at me and said I did not say that. I could not believe he just boldly lied to save his butt with her and put me under the bus. Needless to say I took myself as my boyfriend was busy, and no I did not get any time with my son because they left that night when they were supposed to leave the 31st. I am mortified by his behavior and how he lets her manipulate him I did not raise my sons to be anyone's door mat. Everyone says he will grow up and realize what he has done and what kind of girl he has chosen to be with. I hope to God he does.
I am proud of myself though, I did not cry when they left, I was relieved to not have to see her anymore or watch my son live like a sap. I know it will be a matter of time before they come running back to GA. because the sperm donor will not have patience for their behavior, and guess what when they come back with their tails between their legs my door will no longer be a revolving door.
No one said it was easy raising kids especially alone but when you raise them with family values and guidance and love you would think they would give some back. I know my sons love but they have a crappy way of expressing it.
Does anyone have some encouraging words or advice as to what I need to do different or just keep my plan of not making myself available for them anymore