Tired, afraid, but back!

As the title says...I am tired, VERY AFRAID, yet back to SP.

I have been logging on daily, reading my email but not really present on SP.
October's medical SCARE really threw me for a loop. It took a long time to feel 'normal' and even then, I wasn't my old self.
My get up and go had got up and went, so to speak. I started to be afraid of exercise. I think I equated exercise to the mini stroke and probably still do. The night it happened i had been exercising with my personal trainer, HARD.
And I guess I was thinking that I was getting in shape and eating healthy, so how could this happen NOW, shouldn't it have happened when I was a bigger sloth?
Now I am off my running schedule and have to start from scratch. I put my treadmill in the fold up position for a party, and can't get it down and it is frustrating me...to the point where I sat on the floor and cried....thinking it must be the universe's way of telling me I am not ready yet. BUT I AM....aren't I???

I don't want to be one of these people who start and don't follow though with things, which is where I am headed.

I need help...SERIOUS help!!!

I only have a couple of days in Decmeber but I have one last goal to meet....I registered for the resolution Run...10K...I know there is no way I can run it...but i am going anyway!
I think it will motivate me to be there with the rest of the SP crew...I will go and cheer on my SP friends...and that will put me in the right frame of mind...in fact...maybe I will even walk it...YA...that's it...I will walk it if they let me!!!

Alright...there's a goal...and dammit...the stupid treadmill is coming down!!!! Whether I have to hire someone to figure it out or not!

coming on SP always gets my juices flowin'. I really should write more often!

Boy...that was a load off...I feel SO MUCH BETTER now....

Hope everyone had a great Christmas break and that Santa was good to you all...even those non Christians...hope it was a wonderful holiday!



Later Sparkers

RUN RUN RUN!!