Fed up with being fat
Monday, December 27, 2010
Literally. I'm just tired of it. I want to change.
I change my hair by dying it all kinds of crazy colors. (It's green now.) I have a tattoo, and I want several more. I love my body piercings. But one thing that has not changed in a long time is the way my body looks.
For the last going on 10 years, I have been considerably overweight. I have never been skinny (and yes I am a member of the SP group), but I was once a healthy weight. I'd like to get back to that, and perhaps go even further. Recently, I've had a recurring dream where I have a flat stomach. I wake up excited and remember it was just a dream, but then I realize that it could be a reality if I stay focused and put my mind to it.
I have a friend that is training for a fitness competition. God love her, she's motivated. But she eats nothing but steamed veggies and rice. I need a more realistic plan. One that allows me to eat foods that I like, but in smaller portions and uses healthy alternatives. A plan that includes a gray area to traditional diets, because traditional diets only work while you are on them.
I've been working at this, off and on, for years. Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers, Power 90, Michael Thurmond's Total Body Makeover, and of course, Spark People. Each program taught me a little, and my body taught me more. I've learned that in order to succeed, I need to track my food intake, exercise regularly, and cook healthy foods for myself. While there are "good choices" at most restaurants, I find the temptation too great to choose my favorite high fat items. Low fat frozen dinners are great convenience foods, but they are more expensive than cooking, I get bored with them, and they don't fill me up. By the time I have cooked veggies or made a salad to go along with them, I find I should have just cooked something in the first place. (I'll leave the frozen dinners for workday lunches.) No, it's really better if I just cook more often.
Of course it doesn't help that I over-involve myself in things. Full-time job, part-time freelance job, social obligations, etc. all take up time. I find that I don't get enough sleep during the week, which makes it hard to want to work out when I get home. Exercising in the morning is great for some people, but I know me, and there is a far better chance of my working out when I get home rather than before I go to work. For months I've been telling myself, "After I get my sleep schedule under control, I'll start working out." Well, it's time to skip to Phase 2. Hopefully I'll be so tired from working out that I'll start going to bed earlier. The exercise will also give me more energy, so hopefully Phase 2 will simultaneously work with Phase 1.
Phase 3 of course was supposed to be diet. Not diet in the traditional sense of the word, but a lifestyle change, as mentioned previously: tracking, cooking, and not eating out. Okay, perhaps 1 day a week I will allow myself a meal out. I need to be realistic and set realistic goals here. I need to be successful. I was going to start Phase 3 after I got Phase 1 and 2 under control, as to not overload myself with change. But again, I'm just ready to get things going.
I'm fed up with being fat. Every year I say, "This will be the year" and "This winter I'll fit back into my leather pants". So I'm starting my New Year's Resolution early. Because of an obligation after work today, I won't be able to work out. But I've already started eating better and tracking.
Tomorrow is day 1...