SIRENSCREAMS
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Fed up with being fat

Monday, December 27, 2010

Literally. I'm just tired of it. I want to change.

I change my hair by dying it all kinds of crazy colors. (It's green now.) I have a tattoo, and I want several more. I love my body piercings. But one thing that has not changed in a long time is the way my body looks.

For the last going on 10 years, I have been considerably overweight. I have never been skinny (and yes I am a member of the SP group), but I was once a healthy weight. I'd like to get back to that, and perhaps go even further. Recently, I've had a recurring dream where I have a flat stomach. I wake up excited and remember it was just a dream, but then I realize that it could be a reality if I stay focused and put my mind to it.

I have a friend that is training for a fitness competition. God love her, she's motivated. But she eats nothing but steamed veggies and rice. I need a more realistic plan. One that allows me to eat foods that I like, but in smaller portions and uses healthy alternatives. A plan that includes a gray area to traditional diets, because traditional diets only work while you are on them.

I've been working at this, off and on, for years. Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers, Power 90, Michael Thurmond's Total Body Makeover, and of course, Spark People. Each program taught me a little, and my body taught me more. I've learned that in order to succeed, I need to track my food intake, exercise regularly, and cook healthy foods for myself. While there are "good choices" at most restaurants, I find the temptation too great to choose my favorite high fat items. Low fat frozen dinners are great convenience foods, but they are more expensive than cooking, I get bored with them, and they don't fill me up. By the time I have cooked veggies or made a salad to go along with them, I find I should have just cooked something in the first place. (I'll leave the frozen dinners for workday lunches.) No, it's really better if I just cook more often.

Of course it doesn't help that I over-involve myself in things. Full-time job, part-time freelance job, social obligations, etc. all take up time. I find that I don't get enough sleep during the week, which makes it hard to want to work out when I get home. Exercising in the morning is great for some people, but I know me, and there is a far better chance of my working out when I get home rather than before I go to work. For months I've been telling myself, "After I get my sleep schedule under control, I'll start working out." Well, it's time to skip to Phase 2. Hopefully I'll be so tired from working out that I'll start going to bed earlier. The exercise will also give me more energy, so hopefully Phase 2 will simultaneously work with Phase 1.

Phase 3 of course was supposed to be diet. Not diet in the traditional sense of the word, but a lifestyle change, as mentioned previously: tracking, cooking, and not eating out. Okay, perhaps 1 day a week I will allow myself a meal out. I need to be realistic and set realistic goals here. I need to be successful. I was going to start Phase 3 after I got Phase 1 and 2 under control, as to not overload myself with change. But again, I'm just ready to get things going.

I'm fed up with being fat. Every year I say, "This will be the year" and "This winter I'll fit back into my leather pants". So I'm starting my New Year's Resolution early. Because of an obligation after work today, I won't be able to work out. But I've already started eating better and tracking.

Tomorrow is day 1...

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ZOMBIEGIRL.NET
    you can do it!
    emoticon
    3853 days ago
  • GORILLAINTRPTED
    This was really well-written... I originally joined sparkpeople back in like... 2008 and kept up with it briefly but didn't really stick with it. I started again in September and have been keeping up with it since. I tried a bunch of different gimmicky things to try to lose weight but really, the motivator I need was just being tired of feeling bleh all the time. It starts to really drain on you after a while... Good luck on your goals and you have tons of support to keep things going!
    3862 days ago
  • LOLLYLUX
    I started my resolution early too! Good luck! And great blog!
    3863 days ago
  • OFFDREA
    This is such a great blog. This is exactly what I felt like at the begining of the year. Almost 1 year later and I did it. I slipped up a couple of months but I spent more months with it then months not with it. 10 actually. I didn't just diet and exercise I changed how I live my life. I made it include healthy food and staying active. I switch up my exercise routine all the time so I don't get bored. I love the food I get to eat and while I cut back on things that aren't good for me I refused to deny myself of things. I still drink beer every weekend. Ill have some chocolate here and there. Who cares. I work out hard and I eat well about 80% of the time. After doing that for so long your metablism really kicks into high gear and you can get away with indulging. I went from a size 18 to a size 10 this year. I lost almost 40lbs and am healthier then I have been in my life. I hope that 2011 is a wicked year for you. I hope you achieve all your goals. Sorry for the novel, I just know exactly how you are feeling and how hard it is to start and then stick with it. I started so many a January and never made it into March. I hope I inspired you as proof it can be done and that you will do it this year!
    3863 days ago
  • GYPSY_D
    An awesome blog...I can so relate to everything you've said. I need to start tracking my food better, and making healthier choices. I think I'll do this with you emoticon

    Thanks!
    3863 days ago
  • JUNETTA2002
    You can do this. We will help you. Make your own plan and stick to it.
    3864 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8855294
    What a great blog, thank you! I am in the same boat as you. I just started back up today on my weightloss journey. And, while I have tried a multitude of diet plans, instead of starting off with some crazy no-carb diet, or rice and steamed veggies, I plan to do what you are doing...take a hard look at what and how much I eat and make better decisions. =) I am also going to do what it takes to get in that much needed exercise! I wish you every success and truly think that this will be the year...for both of us!
    3864 days ago
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