How to gain a customer 101

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Actually, it's just "1".

Picture this: go to a shop where you need to prove your ID before you can use their services (for example, like I did yesterday so I could use the internet in a cafe').
Request the service you like.
When the assistant asks you for ID, give your old National Identity Card (or passport, or whatever).
Observe the assistant entering your details on his computer system, then watch him as his eyes move to the next page. That'd be where your photograph is.
Continue watching the assistant as he does a double take, frowns, sneaks a glance up at you, looks back at the picture in front of him, double and triple checks your details and starts turning your ID over in his hands looking for signs of forgery.
Resist the urge to say anything, but notice the cartoon bubble that by now might as well rise from his head. It says: do I mention anything or not???
Finally, when the assistant looks up at you, square in the eyes, with a beseeching expression, be kind and say: "Yes, I had a hair cut recently. Oh, and I lost some weight". Then you can grin as he visibly relaxes as he's not handling stolen ID, and then looks back up at you, smiling, and puffing his cheeks he also raises his arms by his sides in international speak for "fat", before he adds: wow!

I loved it! Especially because I'd already gone through this up to the triple checking the ID 4 times before, at passport control while travelling (the last time just the other day when I got here). However, on those occasions the Borders officers had decided not to say anything in case I'd find it offensive. This guy actually commented and boy, did it feel great :)))
Happy, returning customer for him!

Anyway, the snow has started to melt, a bit icy now but still great fun. Downloaded the pictures to my aunt's computer but I'm not sure when I'll get the chance to write a blog from there so it might be a while before I can post them.

Have a great time everyone!
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