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Change and Motion

Friday, December 10, 2010

Change is always exciting and scary for me, but it is part of life. I have, over the years, noticed that one big life change seems to snowball into other big life changes. "From a tiny spark may burst a mighty flame".

When my kids were little I was kind of stuck... a super morbidly obese, slightly unhappy, tired, lonely, stay at home, college drop out, mother. The first change I made was going back to school and finishing that degree. I got better grades then I did as a younger student because I knew the importance of that degree and I was motivated (straight A's... 98 and 100 percents in most courses). It's amazing what a little motivation can do. I started volunteering which led to a part time job at my children's school. I love volunteering and I love working with children. The job was great because I still got to be "mom" when the kids were home, but I got to get out and meet people and make a little money. From that job, I got a better job at the school, and then I got another job that paid even better. Then I tackled the super morbidly obesity issue... and it was a good change. It was a great change. It was scary to give up my protective layer, there were reasons I kept it so long, but it was a great change. Losing 160 pounds has been surreal and the coolest experience. I love the way I feel. I am just full of energy these days. I could walk all day. I still have some weight to lose, but my body feels good to me now. I am fine with myself... just still aiming for that smaller size. I learned that I love running and moving and the more I move the more I want to move. "A body in motion, stays in motion" and "energy creates energy". From these changes have come other changes. Next Friday, I am interviewing for another position that I really want with my school district, and from there who knows... Recently, I have realized that I was unhappy with some relationships, and I am starting to change those. I know I can't change other people, so I have become comfortable with the idea that if it doesn't make me happy, then I can take care of myself. I just need to keep moving.

I am turning 39 on Sunday. When I turned 29, I was depressed and sad because my life wasn't where I wanted it. I am feeling much happier and more optimistic these days. I feel in control of my life most days. There are days where I feel like a bit of a confused mess, but it's my mess and when I sort out what I want, I will achieve it. My husband told me I was having a midlife crisis the other day. I looked at all these changes the other day and I wondered if maybe I was having some kind of mid life crisis, but a good friend and fellow sparker reminded me the other day that even if that is what it is, there are reasons for a midlife crisis. It really is about knowing that I want to live the rest of my life happier, than I was during that first half. So, I am running with it... if a midlife crisis helped me achieve a BA, a healthier body, and freedom to enjoy my life.... Hooray for the midlife crisis! I am just going to keep on moving forward. Change is scary, but it can be so good.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    This blog is beautiful! I'm so proud of you and happy for you that you've taken charge and created a better life for yourself and for your family. I love your spirit!
    2704 days ago
    Happy Belated Birthday J!! I love what Jocelyn wrote about your mid-life-blossoming!! You have done what so many only dream about -- faced the fear inside and made the changes that brought you a better life. May that never end!!!

    Hope to see you again soon, its been way too long...

    2718 days ago
    2718 days ago
    Happy Belated (by nine minutes, my time) Birthday. Thanks for the image of the three side-by-side pictures of you and your son in front of the train. I needed that today.

    2719 days ago
    First, you're too young to have a midlife crisis for heaven sakes... what you had was an "hey, wait, I really do deserve better for myself epiphany" and I say HOORAY.. change is not only hard for us... it's hard for those around us... and to help us deal with your change.. well, sometimes we say things like you're having a midlife crises to explain what makes us uncomfortable cuz surely something is wrong with you (not us)... otherwise, it might make us VERY uncomfortable by having to look at ourselves and realizing we might deserve better as well... ouch..

    So proud of you.. so inspired by you... HAPPY 39TH BIRTHDAY!!
    2721 days ago
    Heehee.. Yes, HOORAY for MLC!!!
    You're so funny, but I agree!

    When people make the impossible, possible, others need to sometimes find a way to categorize it. After all, if you can so "effortlessly" be incredibly successful, what's stopping them?

    I think it's a mid-life blossoming, if anything! And I'd love to see you soak up the sun, open to the possibilities in the world, Jeannie! You're wonderful.

    2722 days ago
  • FIREBIRD3423
    emoticon emoticon Thank you for inspiring me this morning and happy early Birthday!!
    2722 days ago
    Happy Birthday! Hope your next 10 are as wonderfully exciting as the last! :-)
    2722 days ago
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