PRINCESS4EVER01

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ENDING A LONG YEAR IN 2010

Monday, December 06, 2010

SO TONIGHT I REALIZED HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN A MEMBER OF SP! WOW! AT FIRST I WAS FRUSTRATED! I HAD SO MANY GOALS....SOME I MET, SOME I DIDNT. BUT QUICKLY I REALIZED THAT I AM STILL HERE AND THATS A PLUS FOR ME. CURRENTLY I AM AT 178. I WENT FROM 220 POUNDS SIZE 22 IN PANTS AND THE OTHER DAY I WAS GIVEN A PAIR OF LOW RIDER JEANS-SIZE 14! ESTATIC ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO HOW I FELT! OK, SO AT FIRST THEY WERE TIGHT AND I WAS AFRAID THEY WOULDNT BUTTON, BUT AFTER WALKING AROUND THEY LOOSENED UP. I AM PLEASED...I HAVE SEEN INCHES COME OFF MY HIPS, BUTT, WAIST, LEGS AND MOST OF ALL, MY FACE AND ARMS. I LOOKED BACK AT PICS FROM 2 YEARS AGO AND COULD NOT BELIEVE IT! AM I FAT STILL? UH, YES. BUT I AM SLIMMING DOWN AND TONING UP.
DISAPPOINTED THAT I DIDNT STICK TO AN EXERCISE ROUTINE(YO-YO'D BACK AND FORTH) AND THAT I DIDNT GET TO MY IDEAL WEIGHT OF 110-130 BUT THATS OK BECAUSE I AM RESTARTING MY GOALS NOW AND REVISITING MY FITNES ROUTINE.
I RECOGNIZE WHEN AND HOW I GOT OFF TRACK.
BUT I HAVE MADE ANOTHER POSITIVE CHANGE:RECOGNIZING.
I RECOGNIZE MY FLAWS AND WEAKNESSES NOW WHERE A COUPLE YEARS AGO I WAS BLIND-SIDED.
I NO LONGER "DIET". I AM ON A FITNESS LIFESTYLE. I EAT HEALTHY NOW AND WHEN I CATCH MY SELF GOING ON A DOWNSLOPE BECAUSE I GET DISCOURAGED AND PULL OUT THE JUNK FOOD, I TELL MYSELF THATS THE ENEMY AND TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY.
KIND OF LIKE GOD. I MESS UP TODAY, AL I HAVE TO DO IS RECOGNIZE THAT, SEEK FORGIVENESS AND START FRESH THE NEXT DAY.
THIS YEAR HAS BROUGHT MUCH HEARTACHE AND MUCH HAPPINESS FOR ME AND MY FAMILY.
IN LESS THAN A YEAR I ATTENDED 4 FUNERALS. 2 WERE CHILDREN UNDER 14 YEARS OF AGE. LIVES LOST DUE TO BULLYING-THEY EACH TOOK THEIR OWN LIVES. IN MAY OF 2010 MY BEST FRIENDS SISTER PASSED AWAY, UNDER SUSPICIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES. AND ON THANKSGIVING DAY THIS YEAR I ATTENDED THE FUNERAL OF MY STEP CHILDRENS MOTHER. WHO ALSO TOOK HER LIFE. LEFT BEHIND 5 CHILDREN AND HER ONLY GRANDCHILD. MENTALLY, THIS HAS DEVASTATED ME AND MY CHILDREN AS I LOVE MY STEP CHILDREN AS MY OWN CHILDREN. BY LAW THEY ARENT MY STEP CHILDREN. WE WERE NEVER MARRIED. BUT I WAS INVOLVED WITH THEIR DAD FOR 6 YEARS AND THEY ARE A PART OF MY LIFE. I HAVE REALIZED HOW MANY TIMES GOD HAS BLESSED ME. HE PUT THESE CHILDREN INTO MY LIFE FOR A REASON; THEIR MOTHERS PASSING HAS PAINED ME AND I AM SO THANKFUL I CAN BE HERE TO LOVE THEM AND SUPPORT THEM AND BE HERE FOR THEM.
THIS YEAR MY PRODICAL SON RYAN CAME HOME(LONG STORY) RIGHT IN TIME FOR THE BIRTH OF HIS DAUGHTER ALICE. HE IS CHANGING HIS LIFE AROUND AND I COULDNT BE HAPPIER! MY SON JOSHUA(FIRST BORN) WAS KIDNAPPED FROM ME AT AGE 3 BY HIS GRANDPARENTS. THE TUESDAY AFTER THANKSGIVING HE CAME ALL THE WAY HOME(HERE) ON A BUS FROM CALIFORNIA!!! REUNITED AFTER 19 YEARS IS ALOT FOR ALL OF US TO TAKE IN!
SO THOUGH THERE HAS BEEN HEARTACHE AND PAIN, THERE ALSO HAS BEEN AWARENESS AND BLESSINGS! I CANT WAIT TO EXPERIANCE ALL THAT GOD HAS IN STORE FOR ME IN 2011
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