want to see the scale move down and other thoughts

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

I was so excited on Monday. Got on the scale after working out and saw 171.9 after seeing 174-176 for a week. Got on the scale on Tuesday, back up to 176. I KNOW I probably was water loss that I saw because I was sweating profusely and had not rehydrated yet.
But I was so gratified to see the jump I was looking for, I got all pumped up about it.

Weight loss is hard for me. I am hypothyroid, and every lb. comes off excruciatingly slow, much slower than it comes on.

I've been faithfully recording my food and my exercise for two months now, and I barely ever go over my calorie allowance. I don't always eat the right thing, but if I do indulge, it's within my calories and it's a small taste, not a big portion.

I do see my clothes are looser on me, so I am hanging on to that. Every now and then I just get disappointed with the scale, and I know I can't hinge everything on a stupid number.

One thing I about weight loss, and I feel vaguely guilty about this: That when done right, weight loss consumes you: every second of the day, you are thinking about whether you should walk more, take the stairs, etc. Every time you put something in your mouth, you are calculating your intake for the day: can I afford this?

I dislike the pettiness of it, the near-obsession and self-centeredness it requires.

Anyone else know what I am talking about?

I know ultimately it will benefit not just me, but my family as well. My husband keeps on telling me how proud he is of me how hard I am working on this, so I know he's OK with it.

Maybe I just feel guilty about taking time for myself... but I don't begrudge myself facebook time, but I do feel indulgent when I spend time on spark people. It's weird, some re-wiring has to take place inside my brain that fitness and health are for my long term benefit, and my family's benefit, and not just a selfish pursuit of mine.

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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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