Doing some soul searching

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone. What did Thanksgiving mean to you this year? I have been away from SP for almost a month dealing with some issues at home and I realized that I have much to be thankful for.

My mother is 82 and is in fairly good health but has been having some issues for the last month. The thing that concerns me is her memory, mom is in the early stages of dementia. She remembers her days as a little girl and young woman very vividly but has a hard time remembering what she did yesterday or who she talked to an hour ago. The other day my sister said that she forgot one of her grandkids. She often confused our names and the grandkids and we would joke about it, especially when she would call one of us girls by our brothers name, but she never forgot completely. The other day she had no idea that she forgot her grandson, even when my sister tried to jog her memory.

So, what am I thankful for? I am thankful that I still have my mother in my life and I am trying to make her days as fulfilling as I can. We sit and talk and she tells me stories of when she was little and I tell her stories of what we did over the summer. I try to keep her current on what is going on in her life while she tries to focus on what I am telling her. I feel bad when I sometimes loose my patience with her when she asks me the same thing 5 times. Then I remember when I was a kid and always asking "why, why, why" and she always took the time to answer me. So now I try to emulate my mother and I realize what a wonderful woman she was and still is and I try to model myself after her. I know that the journey ahead will be difficult but I have my family to help me get through it. I have come to realize that I have to take one day at a time and enjoy what I can.
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    My father is also in the early stages as well. He can remember all the little details, who we are and his past. Of course he can remember anything to do with money issues, lol, However. when it comes to the present that is another deal. Like you said, we have to be patient with them as they do not realize what they are doing. I just try to shine it on and make a silly comment to my father when he gets mad when he can't say the word he is searching for, or just trying to remember what day he did what. We promised we would not put him in a nursing home so we are trying to buy the house next to us so we can move him in it,(after we remodel it and the studio) as he no longer drives and lives in another town. If we get the house he will be surrounded by me and my sister should something happen to him. We also decided we will rent out his present home so he will have some investment income, so that really perked him up! lol. emoticon
    2916 days ago
    I can so relate to your blog today. My mum is also 82 and in the early stages of dementia. Last time I was home in Australia she knew who I was and also who my daughter was. I know what you mean about asking the same thing 5,6, 7times. It must be so hard for them. My mum has had to go into a nursing home as she became too much for my step dad. She would be awake half the night having nightmares . She seems a lot happier there as their relationship was deteriorating as she could sense that he was losing his patience with her. Old age is not nice. Thank you for sharing your story about your mum. emoticon
    2916 days ago
    My Mom is 86 and is remarkably independent, for which we are very grateful, but I have noticed changes and especially in the area of memory. Her memories of years ago are excellent and my brother and I are encouraging her to either write or tape them for us, so that we can put them together in a book for her and for us when she is no longer with us. I think that too often younger people don't listen when their parents or grandparents are talking and we just can't afford to do that. They won't be with us forever......

    2916 days ago
    Thank you for the reminder. My mother is in terrible health and has been for a number of years. However, she remembers EVERYTHING. Every last little misdeed of my childhood. But I too have to be patient. Again thanks for the reminder.
    2916 days ago
  • no profile photo MADDIE10281
    Wow what a wonderful blog. I appreciate your courage in sharing what you feel in your heart. Why don't you and your siblings take some time with your mom and put a comprehensive family tree together since her history is what she remembers well. My mom is approaching 71 years old and I spend a lot of time talking with her and have decided to put together a family tree also. Best of Luck, God Bless You.
    2916 days ago
  • no profile photo 4MOM77
    You have such a great attitude. My parents passed away at the ages of 69 and73. They were both ill for many years and there were times that I felt like I was the parent to them. I am thankful for every moment I had with them.
    2916 days ago
    I was very happy to read your blog. I know that as my parents age, I have to be thankful that they are still here and not to get so hung up over the things that will not change with them. They will always be the way they are, I need to just be happy that they are here.
    thanks for the reminder.
    2916 days ago
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