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Looking for a little encouragement from my friends and family here on SP

Saturday, November 20, 2010

I've had a lot of ups and downs over the past couple of months as far as dieting goes. I know I need to do it as I am severely over weight. The worst part of it I'm scared to death.

I know so much can happen to me because of my weight. I mean for beginners I already have high blood pressure. Along with sleep apnea. But I'm so afraid what else can happen to me. I know I'm at risk so much more like CAD, DM, stroke, and much more.

I so need to do this for myself and my family. I want to be around for a long long time. I want to be able to do things with my wife and two beautiful daughters. They are so young and I just feel so old even though I'm only 30 years old. This excess weight is killing me.

For once I'd like to be able to go to a regular department store and buy clothes. This Halloween depressed me so much, I couldn't find an outfit to fit me. Nor can I go to like Wal*Mart or Sears to buy clothes. That depresses me so much. I just want to feel "normal" for a change.

I watch shows like the biggest loser or celebrity fit club and think that would be great to just go away to a place like that and concentrate on weight loss. Then reality sets in I can't. I need to provide for my family. I need to work. Then I'm like well what if I just started going to a gym a couple days a week. That sounds good. But then reality sets in once again. The closest gym to my house is over an hour and a half away. I don't have 3 hours a day just drive to a gym.

I know i can do stuff at home to help with my health like home exercise videos but that gets boring after a while doing the same thing over and over. Of course then I could buy some home exercise equipment, but then I come to the issue that I weigh to much for most of the equipment out there.

All of this weighs very heavily on my heart. It breaks me to think like this. I don't know what to do......
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm sorry I didn't read your blog sooner, but here's my suggestion to you. Everyone here has given you some great advice, and I know that having lost the 40+ lbs. already, you pretty much know most of this. The biggest problem is motivation and CHOOSING to make the right decisions. You did a great job and it was coming off quickly, so now that things have slowed down, it is time to look at your choices and see what worked for you before. And don't worry if it doesn't come off as quickly this time, just try to keep it going the right direction.

    And the biggest advice that was given--keep coming here for motivation! We are all on this same journey, and we all need encouragement. In fact, encouraging others, also helps to motivate yourself. BTW--I am speaking this to myself too! Lts keep this going--we ARE worth it!

    PS--I forgot--work on those exercises with your kids and wife! Pick up the little one and do arm lifts, Have a "race" with everyone from one spot in your house to another, and/or take a walk together. This will also help your wife, who I know is also working on her own journey...ENCOUAGE each other!
    2699 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/27/2010 10:43:02 PM
    What to do: finish what you started. You can beat the odds and do this on your own, at your house and while supporting your family. ONe of the biggest lessons from BL is ASK for help and support of your friends, family, collegues and neighbor and be honest. I had to. Mine went sort of like this - If I dont lose this weight, I am going to become very unhealthy and not be able to do all kinds of things. I need your help and this is how. Tell people exactly what you need. Maybe its watching the kids one hour a week so you can excercise. maybe it taking them for a weekend.

    Go to your public library as you can get excercise videos for free and check them out. I do all the time and that really spices up a work out.
    2704 days ago
    The first and most important thing you are doing is recognizing the importance of your health.

    As far as gym membership. Do you have access to the FitTv channel? Before my son was old enough to leave in the gym childcare I would record a couple of shows I like and do them until I get bored then record a couple of different shows and do them for a while. Going for a walk with the family or kicking a ball around with them in the backyard is a fun way to burn some calories too.

    Try to stay positive, keep on going. Every good food choice or little piece of exercise is a step towards better health.

    2707 days ago
    Downtown Jen and the others have already given great advice, so I just want to say "ditto"! It is normal to have ups and downs on this journey and to have days where we are more motivated than others. "The Biggest Loser" TV show actually terrifies me. I hate the way they emphasize the speed of the weight loss. They have ambulances and EMT's nearby because they work those people way too hard. That show is just about voyeurism and entertainment and has very little to do with the realistic way that people can succeed with SparkPeople. I would recommend reading the blogs and success stories of people on this site. They are all real people who managed to to succeed by making realistic lifestyle changes. "Slow and steady wins the race" is my SP motto.

    2707 days ago
    First of all - wow - you are down 42 lbs!! I hope you celebrate this everyday by remembering it and using that inspiration to keep going forward!

    Secondly - I would like to echo what others have said here:
    --Thanks for reaching out - that's so important - emoticon

    --You don't need a gym - I am doing the 10 min exercise challenge right now and it has opened up a whole new realm of possibilities for me. Some background - I came to SP weighing 324 lbs. I became very ill with an autoimmune disease 6 yrs ago and spent 2 yrs in bed. The illness rendered me legally blind. I still nap for 4 hours a day due to exhaustion from pain. HOWEVER - the 10 min exercise challenge is getting me to do SOMETHING each day. The first 8 times I tried walking for 10 mins I literally had to go to bed and sleep most of the rest of the day because of pain. Yesterday I walked 1.25 miles in 25 mins with friends (this is day #17 of the challenge). I am admittedly having a little pain but not so much as to send me to bed! I am SO IMPRESSED with the progress I've made in such a short time. It is also good to note that you need not walk every day. Sometimes I have done chair exercises during commercials while watching TV or even marched in place while waiting for the coffee machine or microwave. It all counts and I can feel I've worked muscles that have been inactive for a long time.

    --I track everything I eat every day. And I have my calorie range set up to lose 1.5 lbs per week. While I think that shows like BL inspire some people, I don't think that what they preach is applicable or doable (or even desirable) for most people.

    Thirdly - Develop a new mindset. I'm pretty sure that this is so much easier for me this time because I'm doing it for MYSELF - not in response to some "should" or "have to" put on me by family, friends, society, drs, etc. I want a better life for MYSELF because then my family, friends and community all benefit from having me as a more active participant. I don't talk about "diets", I don't obsess about food or jump on the scale every day (I don't even HAVE a scale - I go to a dr's office to weigh). I integrate small changes into my life over time - because it finally sunk in that in order to maintain my new healthy body for life - I will be using these same behaviors - eating, exercising, supporting, enhancing my well being - for the rest of my life. So I'd better find stuff I like to eat (and can eat in volume because "quantity" is important for me not to feel deprived), exercises that I like to do and CAN do, people who support me (thank you Sparkpeople!) and develop a mindset of creating health and well-being for those in my life.

    You have such an excellent opportunity to raise your daughters to be happy, active, healthy people. ENJOY them - exercise with them, introduce them to new healthy foods (kids love the colors of fruits and veggies - and if you get some tasty locally grown ones - they'll love the flavor too! I know because I've worked with community and school gardens - it works! Growing it themselves also helps!)

    Slow and steady really will win the race!

    I don't know if you're interested but Team 300+ is holding a BL Challenge starting Monday that will continue through Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. You can find it here:
    2707 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/20/2010 11:42:31 AM
    Wow , some very great advice, I can't add much to what has already been said. I found this "life style" change thing is not easy, quick or sometimes pretty, but WELL worth the effort. That hill is HARD to climb, but we keep on aclimbing. Why, BECAUSE WE ARE WORTH IT! You WILL make it.

    Skeeter emoticon
    2707 days ago
    Congratulations! You took the most important step by shouting out to your SparkFamily! We're all here 24-7 and want to do everything we can to help you SUCCEED in taking charge of your life! :-)

    First: it sounds like your family is VERY important to you...perhaps even more important to you than YOU are!

    Try this little change of thought: if your family is SO important to you, than you'd better take top-notch care of yourself so that you can be there for your family!

    Being selfish and putting yourself and your health FIRST can be one of the most kind and loving things that you can do for your FAMILY!

    Second, more than any kind of workout, what will drop the pounds for you is to exercise greater control over your food intake. Drop the calories, drop the pounds. This isn't to say that workouts are not important, because they are, but workouts tend not to LOSE weight, but rather tend to TONE UP, TIGHTEN and STREAMLINE the weight that we already have. It is a myth to think that we can go burn off that Big Mac we just ate by exercising.

    Third, take charge of your home and get rid of all the tempting, high-calorie foods that are difficult for you to resist. Odds are, you will be doing your family a favor too!

    Never forget the power of water, water and MORE water!

    Keep coming back and posting your trials, tribs and SUCCESSES to get the MOST from your SparkFamily!

    2707 days ago
  • ASH72461
    you can dp this
    yu don't need a gym
    and i am sure you can do exercise in with thoose beautiful girls
    this may sound silly
    but so of my favorite calorie burning is done with the wii fit
    and my childeren and grandkids love the fact that i play he gameswith them
    and the best part is my wii fit plan is set to burn 190 clories a day
    and i can do differet ones every day if i want
    because i am the type f person who gets bored with the same thing over and over
    and it does matter what the weather is like outside
    so if i can di it
    anyone can do it
    just don't give up even the results are as fast as you would like
    just keep sparking
    you will get there in time
    i love the fact thta you know the right place to go for help
    we are all here to help each other emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2707 days ago
    You don't need the gym or the equipment - just walk. If walking is too much on your knees right now, find a used stationary or recumbent bike and get on that every day. (I started out walking, and eventually found myself actually wanting to run. The same may happen to you!)

    Also, use the tools here on the SparkPeople site, especially the nutrition tracker. Even if you only track for a week or so, you will have a better understanding of what you are eating and how you can improve your diet.

    Good luck, and you CAN do it. You have great motivation!
    2707 days ago
    Hey, don't beat yourself up. That won't help. Get on your own team. You can do this.

    I got an idea from reading the Spark (a book by the Spark People guy). His ideas was to exercise 10 minutes a day. Every single day for a streak. And then he worked on trying for a streak of like a hundred days. His idea was that it is a lot more important to do some exercise (even just a little) every day than it is to do a big gym routine for a few days and then give it up for days. I think it is a great idea. There are days that I am tired and busy and have all kinds of excuses for not exercising, but I have a hard time convincing myself that I can't do at least 10 minutes. There have been days when I was arguing with myself about it and then just said to myself, "FINE! OK!" and angry about having to do it, do some push-ups and situps and stretches watching the clock belligerently thinking, OK I will do this for 10 minutes, but that is IT! Every time that happened I felt much better after the 10 minutes. There is something about getting the blood circulating that helps the moods. So, don't worry about the gym. Do anything at all, pushups, situps, yoga, weights, pilates, whatever. Just make a deal with yourself that whatever you do you WILL for at least 10 minutes a day. Then...... after several weeks, maybe even six weeks, but eventually it will become something you look forward to instead of dreading.

    For eating, it is dog boring and tedious, but the only way I know is to count those darned calories. Figure out what you want your calorie budget to be and keep track. I wish there was some iPhone apps or something where you could just take a picture of your plate and it would tell you how many calories and keep a daily tally for you. That would be the coolest app ever. But nothing like that. It is really boring and tedious to count calories, but that's all I can recommend. And I don't think it ever gets less boring - sorry for not being more encouraging about that part but that is about all I know about it.

    As for motivation. Well, maybe you could get a picture of some University you admire and put a picture of your daughters on that picture and imagine being there to help them get through college. Or something like that. Then when you don't feel like doing just 10 minutes exercise, look at that picture and say this is for you kid and do it anyway. Or maybe same scenario when you see you're already over yoru calorie budget for the day and it isn't even dinner time yet.

    Just some ideas. All meant to be said in an encouraging voice (not scolding or anything like that).

    Don't beat yourself up. You are your own exercise buddy, so be a good exercise buddy to yourself. You can definitely do it. You have many more great reasons to than a lot of people. Blessings like a terrific family are worthy living longer to enjoy.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2707 days ago
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