SUNSETINAZ

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Thoughts on some of my team's thoughts

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Someone from our 'Hoarding - More Than Simple Clutter' team suggested hoarding and being overweight were connected, but wasn't sure how.

I agree the concept how you manage your health is connected with how you manage your surroundings - it certainly is for me.

I think I hold on to my weight - a literal physical barrier between me and the outside world. When my hoarding gets to be more than clutter, it too becomes a physical barrier.

I too am an impulse buyer and it is eating into an already tight budget. I tried not going to the store, garage sales, or online to buy stuff - not too successful. Right now the best I can do is go with a list and stick to it. Most of the time I can handle it.

Denial is a big thing for me...
"Oh, it isn't 'that' bad."
Sometimes it is that bad, especially when it becomes a safety hazard. What helped me be real is going to our 'resources' topic and clicking on the one that has pictures of levels of hoarding for each main room. I printed the picture of the level I thought I was at for each room and took a couple of pictures of each major room and compared them.

I learned a lot. One thing I learned is I am a closet hoarder - literally - and a drawer, nook and cranny hoarder. I try hard to keep the living room and one bathroom usable. Yet my closets, drawers, and garage are filled with stuff. Much of it I don't even remember acquiring.

When I am depressed or my body hurts, I use that as an excuse not to manage my hoarding, paperwork, eating, or exercising. I know in the logical part of me, dealing with even one of these would make me feel better and stop my cycle of depression. I would even feel better about myself inside, BUT I am not making the healthy choices often enough.

It is easier to acquire than to release, let go, throw away, give away, sell, or even re-pile my stuff. My sweetie would like me to make money off the stuff I have collected. I finally decided if my honey wanted to make money off the stuff, my honey could do the work involved. I am just happy when I can get things out of my surroundings (although I do donate a lot to charity if it really is usable by their definition.

Finally, I fear making changes. What would it be like if I wasn't surrounded by the protection of my weight and my stuff? What would it be like if my mind weren't so cluttered? Would I be able to let life be an adventure? Would I be able to let more people in?

I like the John Wayne quote a team member had as part of her signature : "Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway."

And have you noticed I hoard my words and ideas - not keeping it short and simple. I want to be 'perfectly' understood.

That brings up another issue - it is hard to start if I know I can't be thorough and perfect about it. What an illogical thought! I have to laugh at myself. What happened to 'Finally...' - lol.

I'd ask for forgiveness for going on and on, but I am not really sorry for sharing a picture of part of me. Thanks for listening.

Hey, John Wayne - I'm saddling up!
Anyone else in going for the ride?

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Lynn
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SNORFSNORKEL
    You've touched on some important connections, and expressed them very well. They certainly resonate with me.

    Maybe putting them down in black and white will help in finding solutions.

    I find writing in my journal helps to sort out the mental clutter, and posting usually generates positive support.

    It was a great idea for you to start this Forum.

    Time for me to "saddle up" and decide which way to go.

    "Choices" is the word I try to keep in mind.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3252 days ago
  • ALLGRACEY
    I appreciate your honesty! Nicely written.
    3252 days ago
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