Thoughts on some of my team's thoughts

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Someone from our 'Hoarding - More Than Simple Clutter' team suggested hoarding and being overweight were connected, but wasn't sure how.

I agree the concept how you manage your health is connected with how you manage your surroundings - it certainly is for me.

I think I hold on to my weight - a literal physical barrier between me and the outside world. When my hoarding gets to be more than clutter, it too becomes a physical barrier.

I too am an impulse buyer and it is eating into an already tight budget. I tried not going to the store, garage sales, or online to buy stuff - not too successful. Right now the best I can do is go with a list and stick to it. Most of the time I can handle it.

Denial is a big thing for me...
"Oh, it isn't 'that' bad."
Sometimes it is that bad, especially when it becomes a safety hazard. What helped me be real is going to our 'resources' topic and clicking on the one that has pictures of levels of hoarding for each main room. I printed the picture of the level I thought I was at for each room and took a couple of pictures of each major room and compared them.

I learned a lot. One thing I learned is I am a closet hoarder - literally - and a drawer, nook and cranny hoarder. I try hard to keep the living room and one bathroom usable. Yet my closets, drawers, and garage are filled with stuff. Much of it I don't even remember acquiring.

When I am depressed or my body hurts, I use that as an excuse not to manage my hoarding, paperwork, eating, or exercising. I know in the logical part of me, dealing with even one of these would make me feel better and stop my cycle of depression. I would even feel better about myself inside, BUT I am not making the healthy choices often enough.

It is easier to acquire than to release, let go, throw away, give away, sell, or even re-pile my stuff. My sweetie would like me to make money off the stuff I have collected. I finally decided if my honey wanted to make money off the stuff, my honey could do the work involved. I am just happy when I can get things out of my surroundings (although I do donate a lot to charity if it really is usable by their definition.

Finally, I fear making changes. What would it be like if I wasn't surrounded by the protection of my weight and my stuff? What would it be like if my mind weren't so cluttered? Would I be able to let life be an adventure? Would I be able to let more people in?

I like the John Wayne quote a team member had as part of her signature : "Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway."

And have you noticed I hoard my words and ideas - not keeping it short and simple. I want to be 'perfectly' understood.

That brings up another issue - it is hard to start if I know I can't be thorough and perfect about it. What an illogical thought! I have to laugh at myself. What happened to 'Finally...' - lol.

I'd ask for forgiveness for going on and on, but I am not really sorry for sharing a picture of part of me. Thanks for listening.

Hey, John Wayne - I'm saddling up!
Anyone else in going for the ride?

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You've touched on some important connections, and expressed them very well. They certainly resonate with me.

    Maybe putting them down in black and white will help in finding solutions.

    I find writing in my journal helps to sort out the mental clutter, and posting usually generates positive support.

    It was a great idea for you to start this Forum.

    Time for me to "saddle up" and decide which way to go.

    "Choices" is the word I try to keep in mind.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3252 days ago
    I appreciate your honesty! Nicely written.
    3252 days ago
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