QUERIAN

SparkPoints
 

Days 39-40

Monday, November 15, 2010



Thank you everyone for your support and wise words. Let me clarify a bit after my last entry: I am certainly not thinking of anyone in particular when I wrote my last blog, but basically what is happening is that I realize the frustration I am feeling is getting channeled to my blog and to the people who are supportive and trying to help me. I know that's lousy behavior on my part and the truth is that I am just mad at myself and taking out on all of you kind people instead. Let me apologize for that right now.

I guess I don't want to grow up. I don't want to change my ways. I have already changed so many things and given up so many of the things that I love, I am tired and don't want to give up any more. I think I have been mourning for the last couple of days, too. I am mourning giving up all the extras and then some. No more wine, no more chocolate, no more honey in my tea. I have been incredibly sad about this and I just don't know if it's all worth it. But I have decided to try, for now, and see where that gets me.

Today I feel slightly better. Not exactly gung-ho about this all but at least not like I want to cry about it, and that's a step in the right direction.

Saturday night we did go out for dinner and I did have some wine. It was a French-style seafood restaurant and the entrees were very small and I think I managed to do well at least with my guess-timate of my calorie intake. I estimated a total of 1216 for my intake and I burned 824 through my exercise.

Sunday I did well, too, although we went to a catering workshop and sampled some food there which turned into our lunch and so it was another day of estimating. But I count 1135 eaten and 598 burned.

Today I haven't eaten all of my calories yet but I know what I am going to have later and already entered it into my tracker so I will eat 1098 and I burned 609.

I guess I could even have a cup of tea with honey before bed tonight and still stay under 1200, but I don't know if I can treat myself or not ... I have to get out of that habit and Sleepytime is just fine without any added honey.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ZANTONK
    As a beekeeper I am encouraging you to enjoy your tea with honey.... Honey has MANY healing qualities, it is truly good for you. Yes, it has calories, but in the case of honey they are calories well spent. When you add honey to your tea, think of it as adding the very heart/life force... the nectar of flowers into your evening tea. It takes 12 bees their entire lives to produce one teaspoon of honey.

    Stepping off my soap box. (smile)
    3830 days ago
  • DESTINYE
    I understand the struggle and I sometimes find peoples helpful comments annoying (like if one more person tells me to measure and I am losing fat I will scream) so can totally relate. But I know their hearts are in the right place! I am finding the same frustrations and it is not easy to give up everything, frankly I have not and am not willing to do so. I know you will figure it out and hope our comments are helpful on some level...
    3834 days ago
  • JULIAOAK
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3834 days ago
  • SEYSARAH
    I remember when you gave up smoking..that right there was a huge accomplishment..you are still going forward...sometimes I am here with you on this one..your head and heart are not in the same place..but they are getting there. You'll see.
    3834 days ago
  • RECIPE4ME
    thanks for sharing! emoticon
    3834 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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