Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Not my last post, but the one from last week.
Remember what I said about what the doctor said?
So, I went back to the back doc Monday, spasms ongoing. I even drove myself to prove that it gets spastic from driving. (no duh!) I told my husband and son as I was leaving I "had" to drive to see how the spasms go so he can understand. I think they were scared to see me drive. They know what it does to me. But, Conflicting opinions from the dr., the attorney, and my own misgivings made me follow my gut, and believe me it really was my gut, reaction, since it was making me sick besides stressing me.
I love my job, but I want to be well when I go back. I don't want to make my sleep deprived working at night dh have to bring me. Besides, it sounds like they have to check with all the powers that be whether to let me back at this time due to legalities pending.
Screeching halt, back up, turn around, go back 4 paces.
"And what do you do all day when you are home" says the doc.
"I sleep horrid at night, I do my PT the minute I wake up 90% of the time. If I can move, I do more, wii fit or something. I have not been able to get on my recumbent bike since September. I log my food, and my fitness (on spark people I told him), and my calorie range is between 1500-1800 calories. I do some dishes, load the dishwasher, unload the light stuff (I can't reach up, I can't climb), when I can't stand I sit down, go on the computer, put clothes in a basket, kick it to the stairs for someone else to do for me. I do not veg out in front of the tv. I read. do light chores. I make dinner. I walk around. If my son plays wii rock band, I "kinda" dance, standing in place, for movement. Yes my arms are strong, but I can't reach over my head to put something in the cupboard. I can't lift, or bend, or crouch down. Even my PT stretches are done on my bed so I don't have to peel myself off the floor, and clutch to everything in sight to try to get off the said floor. My "job" is to try to get healthy. When I drive, my back goes into spasm. By the time I got here, I could barely hold a magazine without pain."
Today low back and sciatic (right) - very painful when I got there, and range of neck motion, worse than the other day. I told him I was scared about driving because I really cannot turn around to look very easy at all, and it is just getting worse. How can I drive, get in more pain, then actually work, and turn around and drive home???
Ok, I am now out til surgery.
Please Please, let that emergency hearing take place and get my body fixed. I am doing what I can, and that is getting harder to do.
My prayer is for God to open the doors and hearts to get me fixed before damage becomes permanent. Amen.