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Paradox 23: Freeing ourselves can put us in a new cage

Sunday, November 07, 2010

Peter started the chapter talking about reformations that developed “hardened religious arteries”. That as humans, we tend to identify with limitations and develop attractions, both of which can put us in “cages”.

To live our lives with a “theme of freedom”, he suggests we:
1. Name the cage or attachment
2. Find the door to the cage or the hold of the attachment
3. Move towards freedom in areas where we feel trapped
My Spark Cage is MY expectations of co-leadership of the Meditation and Mindfulness Team. As a co-leader I expect to alert the team to new members, send goodies to new members, participate in message boards, comment on member feeds or blogs…
You get the drift.
My attachment is MY performance as a co-leader. When I can’t alert the team to new members, send goodies, participate in message boards, or comment on member feeds or blogs, I feel like I didn’t do what I SHOULD. No one on the team is making me feel BAD; I am the only one who can do that.
The way for me to move towards freedom is to get REAL, and thankfully I am learning to do that.
May your performance meet your healthy expectations, or if not, may you find freedom in the fact that the fun is in the journey.

Namaste my friends.
from Peter Allman’s book, "Little Me Can Live a Big Life: Integrating Paradoxes for Change."
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Yes - is it a cage or is it where we choose to devote our time and energy knowing that we feel a sense of satisfaction having offered encouragement and support!???! For me, the question is partially answered by how I feel - if I'm feeling obligated I will not do it. I wait until I can respond from an authentic place that feeds me at the same time (I hope) it feeds others.

    Blessings - and thanks for sharing Kali-Girl.

    2779 days ago
    Now this one is very thought-provoking.

    I hear what people are saying about SP being a new cage and recognise how it generates a sense of commitment - but the bars are wide apart, the cage door is always open and I know why the caged bird sings.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2780 days ago
    fly free... no judgement, only appreciation comin' from here:)
    2780 days ago
  • SILLYHP1953
    hmmm...that's about all I can think to say...hmmm. I guess that's the sound of me thinking. This is one of those thought-provoking blogs that I cannot just comment on and be done. Hmmmmmm....
    2780 days ago
  • DIMI1124
    This is right on time in response to by blog on yesterday! I really appreciate your insight. emoticon
    2780 days ago
    My cage has become, unfortunately, Spark People itself. I have become too popular and have a large, active friends list. My conscience won't let me miss anything, and because of my plodding connection and poor two fingered typing, it takes me hours to catch up on everyone's blogs and activity feeds. But I have been told so many times I motivate and support people so well they look forward to my comments and help and suggestions, so I feel I can't let them down. So ironic, not having any friends in real life (a good thing or they would be neglected because of all the time I must spend on here), but making them left, right and center online. I have been asked to be a leader, but refused because I know I couldn't keep up with that on top of what I am already doing on here.. I can't see a way out of this, because I enjoy helping people too much to walk away from them..
    2781 days ago
    Thank you for sharing again. I find I need to ponder this series of blogs. But that is good.
    2781 days ago
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