An Incredible Waste
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
That is how I feel today. I've thought about all the work I've been doing- for everything; volunteering, my job search, cleaning, eating right, working out, networking, EVERYTHING. It is all an incredible waste because I'm still a disappointment to everyone. I want to disappear because it's not like I matter anyway.
Somehow I was still good with my food, worked out for half an hour- though my arms were killing me and my calves ached. I got some work done, but I feel like I did when I was fourteen all over again. There's this awful weight on me, I feel like I've been crying all day even though I haven't cried at all (but it wouldn't take much). Music can't even perk me up. I think I'm calling it a day, just take my bath and curl up in bed and sleep, as it's the closest thing to disappearing a person can do.