We all have to start somewhere, and thankfully the Muffin-Top Challenge is giving me a non-intimidating place to start. Instead of thinking of all the pounds I need to lose or thinking about how long it will take me to ever fit into a pair of non-plus size pants, focusing on small accomplishments along the way will help keep me motivated and focused!
Muffin-Top Challenge Info: www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
I have been a "professional dieter" for as long as I can remember. I was over 200lbs in my early high school years, but it never held me back because I was active in volleyball, weightlifting, and tennis. When my grandmother became very sick the summer of my junior year, I became immobile. I spent the summer caring for her and not really leaving the house or participating in any sports. Needless to say, by graduation I was unrecognizable to myself. I was no longer the active, fun person who loved to be outside, but rather a recluse who was mourning the loss of her grandmother.
Freshman year in college brought independence and reclaiming my love of life. I made lifelong friends, and even started to fit in more activity, but I took a seat in the weight roller coaster and by the end of my senior year I had been up to the 280's and as low as the high 250's at graduation.
Joining the workforce and another bout of depression that I've been struggling with for awhile, let the scale rise and fall again. I have consistently been in the high 270-280's (even though I have been "dieting" constantly). Binge eating is my main way of coping with depression and I punish myself for going over my calories or not eating "right" with another binge.
Instead of focusing so much on the fluctuating number on the scale, I am going to stop stressing about what I eat- I get so neurotic and destructive that I do more harm than good. I'm going to take small steps (I'm going to Jazzercise with my sister tonight :D) and enjoy what I eat, instead of shoveling it in.
"Even the little steps bring you closer to your goal."
Jeans Size- 26W
Upper Arm- 19.5
(I hope that these are more inspiring than horrifying haha. I decided to crop my head out so there weren't pics of me in my bra floating around the internet :P)
These pics definitely put me in my place! My self-esteem/body image is surprisingly high considering I've always lugged around an extra 100-150 pounds with me. But this pic made me SEE it- I can see the discomfort, strain, and how this picture doesn't reflect who I really am. I love myself the way I am, but I know it's not healthy and I know that I'm holding myself back from relationships with others and achieving things I really want.