How it Happened
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
I got an awesome prize for all the hard work I've been doing. No, it's not a smaller number on the scale. I have the most amazing fiancee!
As some of you know, I took a break from SparkPeople to get my emotional life back in order, focusing on working the program in Overeaters Anonymous. So far that has been going very well. I also started seeing my therapist again.
Now that I'm getting some of the emotional junk out of the way, I am able to move forward with the physical.
I picked up my strength training program and my running at the same time, and then my legs got TIIIIIGHT and so I needed to slow down.
It's very hard for me to balance the right amount of cardio & strength. I also really enjoy yoga. For now I'm mainly relying on yoga for toning. I need the calm it brings me too.
Riiiiight. So, how it happened. Well, despite all of the good news, I have been feeling depressed. Last Thursday was a particularly bad day. I just couldn't deal! So I decided to take a mental health day from work and just veg. I also had been suffering from eczema on my hands and they looked horrible! (Had an appt with the derm later that day and since it's gotten better - the steroid cream is the only kind of 'roids I'll be taking!)
My fiancee sent me a text message in the afternoon on his way back from the army base. I told him how I was feeling down. He came directly over to my apt., bringing me a cute little plant, and he stayed to cheer me up until I felt a bit better.
We had plans to go out that night, so I showered and dragged my butt out. When we were looking for a place to go he started saying "Nah, I want something a little classier, tonight is special." And I thought Hmmmm.. why is tonight special? And I noticed something box-like in his pocket.
So I knew, but I played along with it.
We went to this awesome bar in a fancy hotel near the Old City. On our way back, as we were walking through the park, he pulled me over to a little lookout with a view of the walls of the Old City of Jerusalem and said something corny like the view is nice but you're more beautiful, he dropped to one knee and asked me to marry him!
We discussed rings but it's more beautiful than I imagined (and bigger!) It's a purple sapphire with 2 side diamonds. Will have to post pics soon!
The following evening I had Shabbat dinner with him and his parents. I hadn't eaten much earlier in the day and I was STARVING, so even after dinner, I still felt hungry. When I came home I had a horrible binge.
I am chalking that up to all sorts of crazy emotions. I have since then had sanity around food and in my life. I have to work very hard to stay calm and keep things in perspective. I have found that the SparkPeople meal planning tool gives some good suggestions. I hate stressing out abuot planning meals. And I find that on days that I've eaten fewer calories than I thought a little bug in my brain tells me to eat more because I can! Well, I am slowly, slowly making progress there.
I have to work hard to realize that yes, this happening to me and I'm going to marry the most amazing guy ever. Often it's very hard to stay happy. I hope that all of this will register soon.
I now have more of a weight loss goal, as we will likely get married some time in March, which will be around my 1 year Sparkiversary. More importantly though, I think I will be a much more solid person. Much more realistic in my expectations of myself and others.
This is the greatest gift.