Is there a cure for apathy?
Thursday, October 21, 2010
I think I've been the same way for so long that I have given up caring. Of course, everyday I get up and think "TODAY IS THE DAY!" and want to try my hardest to make a change and get out of this fatsuit, but then the laziness and the apathy take over again and I realize "This isn't a fatsuit, this is me. I have always been this size! How will I ever change?" and submit to the old routine. Then I think, well, if I'm going to start tomorrow then I fill and overstuff my face today, but it's a vicious, vicious cycle. I get sad and depressed thinking of how much time I've let go by and I've seen the scale dip but then sling shot back up so quickly. How will I ever break out? I will be so dedicated and ready, but then I will fall back into just "accepting" who I am...because I feel helpless.