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Why I've been gone...

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

We've had a couple of sad and stressful weeks.

Last year we assisted our elderly cousin (my mother's first cousin) to enter an assisted living residence. It was a big job, to discuss the issue, find the appropriate residence and then to clean out the apartment.

While she was not entirely happy and didn't take part in programs (she wasn't a joiner), she did seem to be making an adjustment; was chatting with other residents and taking an interest in furnishing her room and caring for her plants.

Then about three months ago, she began to be a bit forgetful and have some angry outbursts when frustrated; then this escalated into hallucinations and delusions.

Two weeks ago after a brief hospitalization, it became clear that she would not be able to go back to the assisted living residence. We needed to find a long term placement.

I did some research and came up with a few possibilities that were closer to my home.

She was accepted last week in my first choice and was placed on the 8th of October.

I visited her a few times during the week and bought some items she needed until we could move her belongings.

My other cousin, my contemporary, who is taking care of the fiscal aspects of the situation, came up from North Carolina at the end of this past week. We closed her apartment in the assisted living residence; spoke to her attorney; moved her belongings and visited her.

This has been very difficult both physically, since there has been a lot of back and forth and more activity than usual, plus a house guest, and emotionally, in terms of the need for problem solving in a short time frame and the stress of watching a family member go through a great deal of suffering and being able to make only minimal impact.

For the most part, I've been able to stick to the caloric intake levels; however, the exercise has been a bit spotty.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • TRW410
    That's a lot! Hopefully things will settle down. Take good care of yourself!!!! emoticon
    3574 days ago
    What an incredibly stressful time for you, and you're family. You do what you can do and no more. You are to be commended for being mindful of your eating through all that you are going through. Hang in there and do not be hard on yourself.
    3580 days ago
    Your elderly cousin is blessed to have the both of you. I would not worry about getting off track. Family comes first. You are doing something far more valuable than you know.

    I know how stressful you must feel. My mother, brothers and I had a
    similar situation happen with my dad a few years back (he passed away Sept' 2009)he was having angry outbursts, was frustrated a lot and eventually this turned into hallucinations and delusions. He use to think a squirrel was in his room scratching at him. The Doctor said it was most likely from his diabetes. It took a toll on my mother's health as well. He stayed at home with mom and we hired a full time nurses aid to help out.

    I hope everything works out for your family.

    3580 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7793680
    These kinds of decisions are never esy or pleasant & I feel for you & understand he stress that is related. On the other side of the isue, I'm so glad that your aunt had you to help her out in this time of need. Now it's time to get back to spening some time & energy on yourself. God bless you & remember that you're not alone. We're here for you when you need our support.
    emoticon emoticon
    3580 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/20/2010 10:53:27 AM
    She is so lucky to have both you and your cousin. It's such a shame that she wasn't able to stay in the assisted living place but it shows you were right to encourage here to do it in the first place. I'm sure if she had been living on her own when the latest issues surfaced it would have been even harder to deal with. Aging isn't for the weak!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3580 days ago
    You sure have been through a very stressful time. Hopefully things will get better now.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3581 days ago
    Hang in here ! It's going to get better. Promise.

    Have a great week!
    3581 days ago
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