Tuesday, October 19, 2010
My BFF from high school has recently joined SparkPeople on my recommendation, and apparently read through every single one of my blogs in one night. So naturally, I've forgotten what I'd even written about, and revisited them myself.
I was pretty unsettled by what I saw. Well, maybe not unsettled, more like surprised. I started out with a good attitude, motivation and willingness to do whatever I could to get healthy. A few months later, I was on the express train to Quittersville, with stops in West Burn-out-town. This train metaphor is stupid, but you get my point. My routine was too demanding to keep up for very long, and when the plates stopped spinning, my old habits were there waiting for me because they never really went away.
Fletch says she's inspired by everything I've had to say over the past year and a half, and maybe I'm a little inspired myself, just by knowing that I've done the work once, I could do it again, but my plan absolutely has to be more realistic than the last one.
Having said that, I'm not ready for the good times to be over. I'm not ready to give up the Friday night bar crawls, the Saturday afternoon Coronas by the pool, the Sunday night deep-frying experiments.
Having said this, am I an alcoholic? Is there something else here, a really serious disease, or is it just a simple resistance to change? Should I check myself in?