Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Two days ago I had a lot of chocolate in the evening. Woke up yesterday and felt really lousy- Self contempt for the eating but also a slight headache and no energy.
All day was "itchy" and filled with emotions of being worthless and insufficient.
In the evening I went to my nephew for the weekly administration. I am terrible with my economy and pay a lot of extra fees because I am so sloppy with my papers. My nephew was driving drunk when he was eighteen and ended up in a wheelchair. He is today...35 years old and an alcoholic. Very alone and lives nearby me. Since I moved back here I have thought that I want to socialize with him, he is very alone, but we have not that much in common and it has felt uncomfortable just to pop by and socialize...
But this paperbusiness gave me a win-win idea. I can´t keep order for myself, but I am good in doing things if I have a responsibility towards others. So I asked him if we could meet once a week and sort papers, he is doing his and I am doing mine, it´s just that we sit together and chat a little while we do it.
He agreed and we have done this three times now... it is SUCH a good idea! My papers are in order, my bills are registered with my bank and waiting to be paid at the correct date, I am very happy about it.
My nephew has been a little more reluctant, the first time I came to his house he was just sort of hanging around, doing this and that and never really got to sorting papers. I did not question him, I did my thing, stayed for about an hour and left. Next time he was a little calmer and stayed a little longer at the desk, I still did my thing and left.
Yesterday he was with me all the time! He sorted all his bills and added the sum and checked his account... and we had a long chat afterwards about this and that.
This changed my day, felt a lot better after leaving him. This is such a win-win situation for me, I have of course sorted my papers many times in my life and every time it´s done I think "never again..." and then a new situation slowly builds up... by this "method" I will hopefully build good habits with my administration and at the same time get to hang out with my nephew in a way that seems good for both of us.
Today I am unfortunately "bad" again. Not that I overate yesterday, but I have had nightmares about my daughter and I woke up with a slight headache again. I will try to take good care of myself today and see if it is better by tomorrow...
Thanks for reading.