Farewell Sam, and other stuff...

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Sorry, time just seems to have flown by since my last blog. I haven't been doing all that much on Spark this week, just the essential things, because I've been needed elsewhere.

My wonderful old dog Sam had become increasingly sick over the past 10 days or so, poor baby, and I knew the end was coming. I was with him as much as possible during the week, and Keiodie and Ned never left his side. Tuesday night was bad, really bad, for him. Keiodie and Sam curled up with him, and even Rhani took her place by his side. Each of them would take turns licking his face when he moaned or tried to make himself more comfortable, and their devotion to their old friend was beautiful to see.

Wednesday morning first thing I called our local vet and after finally managing to separate him from his four footed family we took that last trip to the vet together, Sam and I. Keiodie knew what was going to happen, I'm sure of it, because when he saw me lifting Sam into the back of the car he was throwing his little body against the chainwire fence in an attempt to go with him to wherever I was taking him. He was making enough noise as we drove off that I could hear him even when I'd driven around the corner.

The young vet was wonderful, she has been so good with Sam all along, and he loved seeing her, even wagged his tail when she said hello to him as I lay him on the examining table. She brought in an assistant to make sure Sam was receiving as much attention as possible from someone beside me as the sedatives did their job, and much as it hurt to lose him, his end came as a huge relief to me, and to him too I know.

I brought him home, as I'd promised Dad I would long ago. I had (foolishly) imagined the recent rains would have softened the ground for me to be able to dig the large hole I needed in Sam's favorite spot in the garden. Well, I was partly right, the actual dirt was ok, it was just that 6 inches down the dirt was more broken bricks, broken glass and rocks, and it kept on like that till I managed finally to get to a depth of 3 feet, in an area of 4 feet by 4 feet. Sam was laid to rest, and the hole filled in again. I made sure no one was going to try to dig down to him by covering the area with some boards and a dog kennel. It will, once the ground has settled, become a garden, with a tree and some flowers.

I don't think I have ever put in as much effort as I did in those long hours it took to dig that hole, and I know there were friends and neighbours I could have asked who would have been more than willing to do it for me. I needed to do it, I felt I owed that to Sam in return for all the love and attention he gave his family from the moment he arrived home at Mum and Dad's unit, to living here with me and being such a wonderfully loyal and loving friend to my other 4 footed babies as well as to me. It's two days later and I still have difficulty moving after all that digging. Its a small price to pay though, for everything Sam gave us.

Yesterday was my birthday, and it was lovely to have phone calls and messages and greetings here on Spark People, from two of my girls, from friends... I went to college yesterday and the entire class sang Happy Birthday to me. I had an appointment with the government agency who I visit fortnightly to ensure I'm doing ok with college, that there is nothing I need, no extra help with any problems, etc. I walked through the front door after leaving college, and the wonderful lady I see there came out from the office to sing to me as well. I went out for dinner with friends last night, and not only was I driven by my neighbour who organized the whole thing, she had also taken a huge chocolate mud cake complete with candles as an extra surprise after dinner. It was a wonderful birthday, and I for once didn't care my calories, carbs and probably fat counts were way over limit. Today's a new day, and I'll start over.

I have a huge amount of stuff needing to be done urgently, mainly because I spent so much time with Sam rather than doing the usual household tasks, and I need to move my computer desk back into the spare room, which at present is filled with all the things I need to keep but don't really have a place for. I will have to work through all of that before I can start swapping furniture from room to room. I don't really have any option, because Ned has a fascination for cords and cables, and has already chewed through a lamp cord, a cable for the cordless phone making the base also cordless but unfortunately useless as well, and the cable linking the antenna and the television. These things were done while my attention was on Sam, and I blame myself as much as Ned. Just one of the joys of teething pups, but I am NOT going to take a chance with the computer cables, lol.

Keiodie is lost at the moment, without his big black and tan furry friend. He didn't even look through the house for Sam as he normally would have done when I returned home after taking Sam out without him, because he knew what had happened, I'm sure of it. He just sniffed me once, could obviously smell the vet scents on my shoes, and lay down beside me. He needs some extra attention from me, lots of hugs and to just sit on my lap and have me pet him.

I have to say Ned has been an absolute godsend this week. He spent so much time comforting Sam, but other than that, he provided some company, a diversion and fun for Keiodie while I was at college yesterday, and out again last night. He won't take no for an answer when he wants Keiodie to play, and eventually Keiodie gives in and they have a wonderful time together, both running and taking turns to chase each other till neither can run any further. Then they both fall down side by side, silly doggy grins on their faces.

Its amazing how these things work out. I firmly believe that all things happen for a reason, and even now I wonder why on earth I even said 'yes' when Fiona asked if I'd be interested in giving Ned a home. So many other dogs or puppies or cats or kittens I've said no to, but this time I said yes. I don't know how Keiodie would have coped if not for Ned, and his seemingly endless trail of destruction while my attention has been elsewhere is little to pay to make up for all the love and laughter he has brought with him.

I hope you won't think I'm deserting you all till next week. I'll still be huddling, doing the basics, posting to some threads, etc., but need to concentrate on getting myself, the house and the four footed members of the family back to some form of normality. Right now I feel like I'm living in the middle of a photo shoot for BAD HOUSEKEEPING, if there was such a magazine, lol. I know the inside of my home would be gracing (or is that DISgracing?) the front cover.

Promise I'll be back next week, logging in from my newly established and well organized computer room (aka spare/junk room), after having walked through my chaos free rooms which will be free of all the interesting bits of greenery Ned feels the need to bring inside for me. All I can say is thank heaven Siriradha introduced me to FLYlady, because by Monday I will once again 'Finally Love Myself', not to mention my sparkling clean house.

Big hugs to all of you,
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Member Comments About This Blog Post

    I am so sorry to hear about Sam passing. He knew he was leaving you with Ned, Keiodie, Rhani to comfort you. Ned is a smart pup and he will come around. I am sure you are right about Keiodie grieving for Sam. I am sure Sam knew he could leave peacefully because Keiodie has Ned beside him.

    2742 days ago
    So sad, this is the responsibility we take on when webring those pets into our lives.

    I long for another dog, but for the moment it is not possible. Take care of yourself!
    2745 days ago
  • SILLYHP1953
    I'll miss you this week but sure understand the need to get other things done. I'm sitting here and should be going through boxes, so after this comment I will do that.

    You know how sorry I am about Sam.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Phyllis
    2745 days ago
    Sorry about you loosing your pet. I remember how hard it was when my little dog passed away. Happy belated Birthday to you. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2747 days ago
  • SWELL10
    I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you have a wonderful house full of furry friends. Hang in there and know that we are here for you just as you have always been for each of us!!!
    2747 days ago
  • REJ7777
    Your pets have such a wonderful, loving home! It's wonderful that Sam was surrounded with so much love and attention at the end of his life! (Didn't stop me from crying while reading your blog, though.)

    Happy birthday! I see you're keeping busy.
    Keep Sparking!
    2748 days ago
    I completely understand the symbolism of needed to do the physical labor yourself as a tribute to Sam. emoticon We are so attached to our animals.
    2748 days ago
    I'm so sorry! Loosing a pet is like loosing a family member, it is very hard.
    2748 days ago

    ((HUGS)) I am so sorry for your loss. I know how much the two of you loved each other. As hard as it was you did what was best for Sam including his final resting place. I think the garden is a wonderful idea!

    You take all of the time you need, we will be here when you get back!! A great reminder that all things come into our lives for a reason. I am glad that while you have had to deal with a loss, you also get the joys of dealing with a puppy...and things come full circle!

    Teething puppies can be that computer we would hate to lose you!! Happy cleaning and organizing.

    Wishing you a Happy Belated Birthday!! So very pleased you had a great day surrounded by those who love you!

    Take Care,

    2748 days ago
  • LEXIE63
    I am so sorry to hear about Sam, but it sounds as though he had so much love and a great life with you. :-)
    Thinking of you all, and of your computer cables. :-)
    Lex xxx

    2748 days ago
    I'm sorry for your loss. Sam looks like a real cutie.
    2748 days ago
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