Seeking Outside Support
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
It's not easy on this road. I think all of us can agree on that. It's an off the wagon....on the wagon....off the wagon....on the wagon....type of life. A few weeks ago, I feel off. It wasn't like a tiny trip and fall, but a complete dive off of a cliff. I was letting myself eat the worst things without exercising. I was just disrespecting myself.
I woke up one morning and was like, "What am I doinggggg???" So I got online and realized that this is a problem that can't be solved by me typing a few paragraphs a week and thinking about the gym. I researched until I found a doctor at my hospital who specialized in weight loss.
I only told my mom I was going to see this doctor, and that was in an email while in the waiting room. This stuff is so scary and for many, it's embarrassing. There are times that I can't control my eating because I'm so use to eating fries....pizza...etc.
The doctor was scary at first. I'm not gonna lie, I almost walked out when I first got there. There were those cheesy posters on the wall and brochures on the tables about weight-loss surgery. When I got called back, the sweetest nurse gave me a complete check of blood pressure, weight...etc...
I was then moved to a waiting room so the doctor could finish up and bring me in her office. I was soooo nervous. 10 minutes later, we walked into her office and I immediately knew this was a good place. First, having a woman to talk to about my health is so much easier than talking to my male doctor. She was warm, accepting and full of info. I'm the kind of person that needs lots of info, details, numbers, charts....I love nerdy things :)
She handed me a 4-page print-out with my health stats on it. There was my weight. STARING AT ME. It's the highest I've EVER been in my life. The next 20 minutes, we talked about where I am, why I'm wanting to change and things like my risk for cancer. It was incredible to see what this weight was doing to my body. I have normal blood pressure, my EKG was normal and my attitude was slowly changing.
We talked about the options she had and we both agreed that I would start on a program that included exercise, eating right and an appetite suppressant.
I started the medication yesterday and it was amazing how much of my day was freed up from the normal worry about eating. I ate a healthy breakfast, took the med and went on with my day. I was drinking lots of water (it makes you thirsty) and was able to stop and think what I needed to eat next. I looked down at work once and realized that I had worked through my normal lunch break! At the end of day 1, I looked at my food journal and smiled. A PERFECT eating day. I had consumed the correct amount of calories, plenty of water and was so pleased with myself.
We all know that day 1 is always the easiest. That's why I shared my complete story. My mom is helping me with texts, calls and emails. But the next step is telling my friends. I'm so nervous.
Have you ever had to tell your 'skinny' friends about your weight loss struggles? I'm nervous and hope they will be there for me.
Sorry for the really long blog. It feels good to tell the truth somewhere and I hope it will help me reach my goals. Of course, going to the doctor isn't for everyone, but I needed control.
Thanks for reading!